..Click Click Click..
So i finally got around to sorta finishing my layout. still a bit buggy here and there but im not free now la! later la ;p
Oh and if my layout is wonky on your browser its probabaly because your browsers old "=_= go update it.
..The Princess..
I am the very sin of life itself, living in a world and civilization i deem unworthy of the many now ruined perfection it was blessed with. The social
anti-social i be but thats another part of me you will
eventually see or hope to see.
I suffer from a bipolar disorder and can feel extreme happiness and sadness in the most disturbing of manner. Manic depressive some often call me or "emo
girl" for short.
But who am i really?
That girl on the street you thought was hot or perhaps that girl you laughed at the day before.
What you see is your perception of me but what you know is something that even i find much a mystery.
Yes that is me in the picture and yes that is a pink cigarette i'm holding but no i'm not a smoker. But believe what you may for doubts will inevitably
be existant.
..She Supports..
..Talk..
..Credits..
I'm Ginny; girly, emotional, rough and fundamentally retarded. Oh, mustn't forget extremely lazy and amazing at procrastination as well and err...well, clumsy (don't ask). The surname's Yap and no my full name isn't really necessary in introductions. Arrogant, stubborn and well, what more might you ask?
IM AWESOME. Nuff said.
|
|
 |
|
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
i usually relish rainy nights. today its sound resonates at a frequency much higher than usual in my head. the rhythemic repetition sounds like nails being drilled into my head and i want to scream in frustration at it all.
my eyes are burning again. i am very very tired.
yet i cannot stop moving. as we speak i am jiggling my right leg in such an unruly manner one would snap at me if they saw. my body aches all over.
i want to crawl into the arms of someone familiar and be soothed by his/her voice. someone to tell me it's okay and that they care. yes i am needy. and yes i am clingy. and even more yes i should probably learn to grow up.
i did not need to hear you mock my parking today. i know i am bad at it. normally i would laugh it off. today, my emotions couldnt deal with it. your voice rings in my head and i am torn between crying or being infuriated. you are drunk yet perfectly sober. ah. such contradictions.
this is bullshit.
angst is eating me up. i am eating myself up.
i dont even know what the fuck.
Labels: angry, annoyed, confessions, personal, random, rants, upset, wordy
my inability to do so makes me feel ill at ease. im not suppose to get attached. im not suppose to care. in a way i dont yet i still do. why did the way u talk to me sting so bad today. i almost cried in front of him. he has seen me cry. but it was never about him. today it was.
to add to the whole pathethicness of it all i have discovered that another one of my guinea pigs is on the verge of dying. and will very well be dead by morning. and im sad but im not. im so numb right now. so devoid of emotions. so empty. what the fuck is wrong with me. am i really as mentally retarded as everyone seems to think i am?
i need my boys and babes who are not in the country right now. i need you guys so badly.
anyway. do be a dear and click on THIS LINK. all help is much appreciated. thanks
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
yesterday afternoon i developed a weird lumpy rash on the back of my thighs. and what the hell this morning i wake up to discover it's still there and it seems to be slowly spreading T___T
omg.
it's so fucken itchy.
now my lower back has some of it T__T
in case you've been wondering my internet has been dead. in a friends place now. hmmm.
FUCK FUCK FUCK this is shitty!!
Labels: annoyed, nightmares, rants, tragedies
Monday, September 07, 2009
yes yes fat face. whatever
dodgy much
hahaha poor baby rabbit had a teeth overgrowth problem
the mess that is my room.Labels: animals, annoyed, camwhore, guinea pigs, pics, rabbits, rants
Sunday, August 09, 2009
tired of words. tired of emotions.
what the fuck is wrong with me.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
it's ironic how i was telling my friend he should quit smoking because he was coughing yesterday. he said he stopped for 3-4 years and now there's no more motivation. i think it was more of the fact that everytime he smokes it temps me to just grab the fucken thing from his hands and take that long deep puff. i have reached breaking down point. not good. not good at all.
i've been neglecting a lot of things lately, i guess the animals suffer the most when im at this stage. i need to snap out of this.
i have more male friends than female friends. is that so hard to accept?
and why the hell are ppl that have been MIA from my life over the past 2 years starting to come look for me again. i hate ulterior motives, it pisses me off. i dont need someone to sweep me off my feet, especially not someone whom just walks up and leave whenever im attached.
i want to fucken smash things right now. hello myviolent friend, it's been a while.
Labels: angry, annoyed, confessions, emo, musings, personal, rants, sad, stupidity, upset, wordy
Sunday, July 12, 2009
hopefully ill be back to normal because crying and emo-ing over nothing in the alfa that has been through so many accidents is very conforting. hur hur hur.
oh hes snoring now.
and he has this really annoying clock and i can hear it so crisp and clear my paranoia is just becoming more heightened. i need to puke. big time.
i havent drunk alcohol properly in over years now since i stopped the whole clubbing habit and the god brother went MIA from my life. i wonder how it feels like to be drunk. right now, that sounds really good.
i need a drink.
Labels: annoyed, confessions, personal, upset
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
now here's the thing. i am a krispy kreme addict and i travel at least once a year to somewhere with krispy kreme or at least people always bring them back to me. I DO NOT LIKE overly sweet things and i think krisky kremes original glazing IS PERFECT. hell, i think big apple and j co's ones are too damn sweet for me.
the first time i finally tried it in KL was at times square and by luck they were giving out free HOT ones like they do in every other country which was an amazing surprise to me because i pretty much thought malaysians would do it their way and forget the krispy kreme courtesy. well fuck me, i've only seen this happen once in KL so i guess it was a short lived thing.
but i was quite dissapointed after ordering my doughnut. it came cold. something i have never encountered anywhere else. krispy kremes logo is a neon sign and it says come in for rolling hot doughnuts or something along that lines which means it is a MUST that the doughnuts you are served are hot or at least acceptably warm. i ignored this.
last week at mid valley my doughnuts were cold again. today a friend told me her story and she is an even bigger addict that me. it was the first time in her life she couldnt finish her doughnut. why? well. apparently the doughnut was cold and hard and the sugar was flacky pointing out they were not using the proper sugar but cheap ones instead hence the overly sweetness of the doughnuts.
she then requested they heat up the doughnut and they answered her with they have no microwave. THIS IS NEW. like wtf. how can u not have a microwave? so all the while the doughnuts have been served cold?? so she asked if she could have a new FRESh doughnut and thye told her no because there were no fresh doughnuts available.
oh my, does that mean krispy kreme malaysia has been using left over doughnuts?? because apparently a lot of people who have brought them home, after leaving it overnight the doughnut sugar becomes hard and flakes off while the doughnuts harden.
krispy kreme has a reputation of being able to keep its dougnuts refrigerated for over 3 months and once heated up remains just as soft. heck, even if you dont pop it in the microwave you leave it out for a minute or two and it's still pretty soft and the sugars still nice and glossy.
sigh. why oh why malaysia did you do this to my beloved?
Labels: angry, annoyed, desserts, food, rants, sad, tragedies, wordy
Saturday, June 27, 2009
but lately i notice a lot of blogs only ever update when there's an advertorial. i mean if its one or 2 of the blogs i read then yeah sure go ahead i dont mind reading about your product but what happens when a few blogs at one shot churn out the almost exact thing. now this wouldnt be such a big deal if the blogs were frequently updated but if any of you have even noticed, a majority of these blogs almost never update unless it's an advertorial. and then the blog looses it's essence of the original owner which saddens me =(
or maybe it could be me going back to the same blog a few times a day thinking its a new day. wtf. but im sure it isnt that.
come back bloggers.
and then there's another thing that has been annoying the shit out of me. There have been a few bloggers on whose names we shall not mention who think that are tres fehmes and when people dont recognize or acknowledge them they put on this haughty face and go OH you dont know me ah. it's okay la. no big deal. OMGWTFBBQ.
you think you model or movie star or something is it, please la. so you have a few thousand readers a day but really, does anyone care? nuh uh. maybe when you do something like volunteer at a 3rd world country instead of brag about your daily work and stuff then people would care more yea.
im sorry im on angst mode and these random stuff just popped out =S
(12pm edit: i was going to do a MJ tribute using a video of my once london bf as a kid but he wont give it to me >=( i am still trying to fish it out)
Labels: annoyed, blogger, confessions, rants, stupidity, wordy
Thursday, June 04, 2009
i have 3 maths paper left and suddenly i dont like maths that much anymore. it's probably due to the amazing ability of mine to procrastinate. so amazing to the extent that i now have just over 24 hours to remember everything and do an unidentified sum of sums to burn that shit into my head. good grief, and here i am titter tottering about blogging. when will i learn. mieh
i want to lie in bed and roll around like i just dont care and play my sims 3 T____T SIMS 3 PEOPLE.. urghhhh. urghhh sounds like im regurgitating. okay that was totally random and irrelevant. i will go slap myself now. bai @_@
Labels: annoyed, confessions, personal, random, study, tragedies
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
after over an hour of tossing around in bed my eyes are wide open now, every detail seen with a strange clarity one gets from being high. yet the brain is disconnected and studying attempts become futile if not totally a waste of time.
even music does nothing to calm me down and i wonder what the fuck is up with me now.
~*~*~*~*~*~
2.30am edit : this confused state of mine is tearing me apart. anger annoyance frustration, it's all hitting me at once. it's like schizophrenia + depression all over again. i want to hit something, break something, be destructive.
maybe it's the pms talking yet it doesnt seem entirely feasible. the last time i felt this way was after learning what a cheating scum bag my ex actually was and how my closest friend at that time could so nonchalantly hurt me the way she did.
not like anything like that is happening now, but that channeled frustration seems all too familiar. i've had enough of self inflicting wounds so what the fuck do i do now then? strange how watching my own hand cut myself can calm me down in almost an instant; but no, not this time, there isnt even a solid reason for my current state of emotions.
my fan is making the most disgustingly disturbing sound and its repetitiveness is driving me insane. it's in situations like this i think people find it easiest to put a gun to their heads and pull the trigger without hesitation.
if only i had a gun.
if only...
Labels: angry, annoyed, confessions, personal, rants, tragedies, upset, wordy
Sunday, May 24, 2009
my exams are still on and already im in the holiday mood. how la like this. epic phail.com wei
im hungry but i cant even get my butt out of the house which is new with ginny. hello? its me wei how often do i tell u eh dowan la i damn lazy go out la when it involves yum cha food and my favourite people. something is soooo wrong
ive been eating porridge for the past few days and the taste is so repetitive at home i feel nauseas just looking at it. miehh... dumb throat. i want yee mee and cake .___. this sucks.
go away evil lazy bug. i spent pretty much the entire day in bed today. even typing this "=_= wtf is wrong with me
actually i wanna go out wan but i damn lazy change outta my sleepin clothes but cannot la. damn shy go out of my housing area like thissssssss.. urgh urgh.. getting dressed and putting on clothes is such a chore lately.
mieh.
Labels: annoyed, confessions, random, rants, tragedies
arghh.. i think the saying the sun is frying my brains would be an understatement. i bet my brains all weirdo and messed up right no.
fark the pain. i can feel them veins popping up. its friggin midnight and it's still unusually hot.
knocks head on keyboard.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
well technically i was but my brain was working on slow mo and i didnt have enought time to finish T___T good bye A.. hello resit for the 3rd time. wtf
Labels: annoyed, confessions, emo, personal, random, sad, study, stupidity, tragedies, upset
when this worry sets it it starts a chain of annoying heightened sense of awareness of everything around you. lights become brighter and sound waves reach those delicate ears in an amplitude much higher than you once remembered.
everything becomes clearer allright,except that fuzzy tired mind and as much as you want to study your mind tells you to take a short nap and this annoying cause of anxiety just fucks you over.
sometimes i wonder why we have exams. i remember randomly reading my text books out of curiousty and due to the leisurely sentiment of that time, my brain absored every little bit of detail and fact like a sponge. my mouth would open up and shoot out random excited statements aimed at the bf out of the whole thrill of learning something new.
i am in nerd in such sense, i love learning new things.
but the whole idea of having to be forced to memorise everything just to score in a damn paper that barely proves anything makes the whole process appaling. nothing i read is interesting anymore and nothing i read even wants to make a little lodge of indentation in that pissed off brain of mine.
where is the beaty in education if this is what it has become. a pathethic way of students to prove how well their brain can memorise facts that they find absolutely no interest in.
i want to be a kid again. time where exams didnt exist and where the opening ups of encylopedias and dictionaries made my eyes light up. U_U
Friday, May 08, 2009
really, i do.