Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Uneasy Silence

you know that feeling you get where you wake up and feel like shit and then all you want to do is lie in bed and cry yourself to sleep in hopes that you eventually fall back asleep and never wake up? been feeling that way for quite some time now.

it's ironic how i was telling my friend he should quit smoking because he was coughing yesterday. he said he stopped for 3-4 years and now there's no more motivation. i think it was more of the fact that everytime he smokes it temps me to just grab the fucken thing from his hands and take that long deep puff. i have reached breaking down point. not good. not good at all.

i've been neglecting a lot of things lately, i guess the animals suffer the most when im at this stage. i need to snap out of this.

i have more male friends than female friends. is that so hard to accept?

and why the hell are ppl that have been MIA from my life over the past 2 years starting to come look for me again. i hate ulterior motives, it pisses me off. i dont need someone to sweep me off my feet, especially not someone whom just walks up and leave whenever im attached.

i want to fucken smash things right now. hello myviolent friend, it's been a while.

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-BabyGinz-