Tuesday, March 31, 2009

one day, unintentionally; with just that little push i might be one of those crazed kids that killed her own family.

just get the fuck off my freaking back already.

those screams they pierce my head. one day i'm going to lose it.

and this will be my confession.

-BabyGinz-

my fingertips ache to touch that pretty white canvas, to cover it in swirling colours of every imaginable shade. i could have been an artist, no longer i fear. yet how tempting that idea now sounds in this room i am in.

behind me is an empty area, high ceilings and clean empty walls. spotlights at the top and the ground a cemented grey of uneven monochromes. i've never been one for studio apartments but this one, an office of a friend has my heart. i imagine those walls strewn in black and white potraits of strangers i have never known and easles and paint brushes litter that smooth grey floor.

i miss that feeling of being covered in paint, when one goes into that fever of being able to create, you fall into a state of trance; oblivious to reality's pull over one's silent eyes.

to be able to create such dream like illusions; how i wish for it to be so simple.

one day.

one day, i will create something new,

and then i will lie back in content and let out a sigh; and i know i will be blissful,

blissfull for that short period in time, knowing i have created a spectacle so beautiful in my eyes.

-BabyGinz-

on those walls in my blood i will write, the pains and anguish you have caused. the sins you have placed myself to commit in hopes you may create a happier family it seems. perhaps so would be the truth if i could make myself dissapear, a death to the black sheep i presume.

rob me of my life, my happiness, my inspiration in the broad of daylight. you, the one who were meant to be my protector; instead made me shatter and fall back into my days of darkened skies.

leave me be i beg you, for as the sight of you tempts me to drag that perfect piece of blade across my soft delicate skin.

-BabyGinz-

my tear stained face and my heavy hardened heart knows no longer the meaning of home.

and i grow weaker day by day.

-BabyGinz-

lost in the middle,

i wish only to be satisfied.

-BabyGinz-

Monday, March 30, 2009

i know the beginning is a little draggy but its a beautiful video really. i cried somewhre around 3 quarters of the vid because of one particular guy D= watch the entire thing okay. i only post chun videos.

-BabyGinz-

gosh, ive forgotten how it feels like to have a fever. am currently run down by a mild one but as mild as it is my eyes are burning and its annoying the hell outta me. i really really want to curl up on an overstuffed one seater couch and read all those books that have been sitting on my floor untouched with a dainty little cup of tea on a table next to me. *pokes bubble* how unfortunately i own only the pile of books and some crummy tea bags.

the past 3 days were spent working under pretty intense conditions. try scorching sun one minute and drenched in heavy rain the next. this pretty much explains my fever right now.

but looking back at the 3 days i wouldnt trade it for anything else. much of my time was spent people watching (a fav past time of mine) and it just amuses me how some people react to things. i've also discovered the kind of guys and the kind of girls im generally attracted to in terms of the way they are dressed.

mmm.. a well built body paired with a simple tight tee and jeans makes me swoon. i also love love guys in a plain polo tees and jeans or a clean crisp button up shirt in jeans.just so yummy too look at. (yes people, i am still very much attached but im allowed to look okay and you should too!!we have eyes so use them ;p)

made some new friends working which is pretty rare considering what a black sheep i usually am. same case here actually if not for these few handful of people who made it bearable for me. thank you hanif! if u ever chance upon this ;p u were a delight to be with. haha.

i kinda forgot where i was going with this post @_@ and my eyes are getting pretty heavy. hm. but thanks for wasting 10 minutes of your life reading.

me love you loads. muah muah

-BabyGinz-

Sunday, March 29, 2009

23-29 Nov 08

work @ Sunway Pyramid

hello santa.

=(

awesomelicious nasi minyak @ Sweet Bean

er..i would tell u where it is but its kinda hard.. not sure if its considered bukit jalil, oug or sri petaling @_@ in between all of them maybe. hahaha

one of my fav mushroom cheese noodles. damn yum wan. wont jelak easily

and i am queen jelak easily. wtf

sesame tong yuen with peanuts

love love love

absolutely gorgeous.

hachi being naughty

i miss him =( i hate how short hamsters lifes are.. sigh

talk about greedy



hahah..i think this is a really funny pic



freaking cute mini snowman @_@.. this picture cannot see his whole outfit but hell.. talk about freaking creativity.. this one takes the cake @_@ hand sewned babeh

piau (2nd bf who has been neglecting me lately =(!!) and mavis

he bought me ice creamm.. wheeeeeee

okay..bought us.. hahaha


cheerio!

-BabyGinz-

Saturday, March 28, 2009

i am this vessel of decaying matter. a vessel of negativity that grows never ending like a leech that knows not it's limits. feeding and feeding until it explodes and sprays of warm fresh blood fly like crystal rubys in the air.

soon i will be swallowed in all my entity and only bits and pieces of me will be left to dissipitate into thin air. this darkness grows.

-BabyGinz-

Friday, March 27, 2009

dazed and only partially awake, i feel sick to the core. blame it on the weather, or possibly it could be something more. my vision's spinning and nothing seems straight, except maybe for that heavy weight that's lodged itself in my head. it feels like i'm on weed minus the happy transitional stage. ah yes, could have been the overdose of shisha last night or the lack of sleep my exhausted body is feeling.

i miss my lazy weekends.

hey there, where are you?

it's been a while since i've last had you.

oh wait, now i remember.

i've been walking into work when the sun barely even shines and collapsing into bed as the moon sings me a not so sweet serenade. and uppity up again we go, and this time to class we make a show.

my life is going to kill me one day.

-BabyGinz-

i've always wanted to swing under a big tree. a tree smacked in the middle of some grassy plain. the sky so blue, almost unnatural. me, alone with nothing but my swing. i'm not moving. just sitting there thinking as a soft breeze blows through my hair.

and i am happy, or so i wish to be.

-BabyGinz-

Thursday, March 26, 2009

15-23 Nov 08

i miss having baby rabbits around =(


died of cuteness overdose yet?



some cake@ Ochacha or whatever its called, The Gardens

green tea tiramisu

bummed me

i miss him =( eh we dont have pic of the bimbo who took our pics. wtf

chippy and anon =(

i miss him U_U



my dog seriously does sleep like that "=_=

i was trying to show how big this pizza from dominos was but this pic just doesnt do it enough justice

there.ignore my octopus hair. thanks

my subway sandwich

was way pathethic "=_= wtfffffffff..this was at Sunway Pyramid

affogato. expresso into belgium choc. yum.. er..why got black stain on my cup ah @_@

cuz im weird. and i saw this cheap hat so i got it XD

i will probably never wear it out @_@

some noodle at er... shit i forgot whats that place called in SUnway Piramid

they had this awesome dumpling noodle.. which was awesome..now...forgive my forgetful brain but hell it was ages ago @_@ er..they have singing waiters?? if thats even any help "=_=

-BabyGinz-

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

this is disasterous "=_= ... for the past 1 week i've been getting sleepy before the clock even hits 10. HOW LA LIKE THISSSSSSS!!

i need to study and finish all my super overdued homework =( exams soon.. wtf..like damn fast can.. i need that workaholic gene!! WHYY!! WHY DONT I HAVE IT!!! i need to be more kiasu and more gan jiong about my welfare!!!

oh! imma gonna start project minime.

hahaha... wanna build a mini robot XD like really really mini... er..hopefully i actually get around to doing it la. pfft.. havent touched electronics in agesssssssss...

GOING TO BURGER KING TO DO HW AND STUDY! GAMBATEH GIN! one day of class and 3 whole fucking days of work and back to class again.

le sigh.

-BabyGinz-

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Stars - Window Bird

Stuck on the wall, the note that you left
I wait and stall for the moment
Your reckless heart, you know you got it
Into the past, I try to sort it

Sort it, Sort it,Sort it, Sort it,Sort it, Sort it

Out of the fog, a colder morning
I wanted to call for nothing
Your careless heart, you know you got it
I crawl into bed, and try to forget

Forget,forget,Forget,forget,Forget,forget

When we go down, your loss of courage
When we go down, you're so ferocious
When we go down, your loss of courage
When we go down, you're so ferocious

Blanket of cloud, the sky hovering
The winter is long and forgiving
You melt your doubt, and fall into me
I find your mouth and try to hold it

Hold it, Hold it,Hold it, Hold it,Hold it, Hold it

You blame your love, you know is harmless
We're both wise for falling
The summer arrives, the gardens alive
With the mud and mortar we're going to save it

Save it, Save it,Save it, Save it,Save it, Save it

When we go down, your loss of courage
When we go down, you're so ferocious
When we go down, your loss of courage
When we go down, you're so ferocious

When you want to go
You can't get out through the back door
When you're going to leave
Wait out fear and look for me

-BabyGinz-

so i was reading fmylife.com a while ago listening to my current favourite band Stars and instead of laughing like i expected myself to, i got even more depressive.

i'm not a people person, not that i can't get along with people. on the contrary it seems i am most suited for jobs relating to PR work but in general i just don't like people. yet reading the things people posted up on fml tore me into pieces in ways i cannot even begin to comprehend.

the amount of shit that happens in this world is almost too much for my pathethic heart to bear. how can someone like me be so hard yet so soft at the same time. it's sickening.

on another totally unrelated note. i hate the smell of pantyliners. the stench is disgusting. yes i'm talking about clean pantyliners not my tainted ones so fuck you.

-BabyGinz-

Monday, March 23, 2009

i am not normal. neither am i different.

i envy these everyday people around me.

sometimes i hate who i am.

and for that more than anything i wish i'd die.

-BabyGinz-

i was happy and bubbly in the car, wanting to blog about how adorable my bio lecturer was with a post fully in my head and lots of other things i wanted to talk about.

came home to a sight that made me want to hurl my insides out in anger and disgust. i hope spice is alive in that chaos they are creating outside.

you really are a son of a bitch arent you?

just when the initial flame you created was starting to douse off and i had begun to think that you had finally opened your eyes to the ludicrious ideas you seem so absorbed with stupidity, i come home to this.

i really do hate you, you know that. or dont you?

fuck family. this word means nohing to me.

-BabyGinz-

Saturday, March 21, 2009

my self esteem is bordering on an all time low right now =(

everytime i think i've made progress with my weight loss a few days later i seem to have doubled up in size.

most of my clothes don't look good on me anymore and my bulging tummy is so prominent it looks friggin hideous U_U i can't even sit down without feeling pathethically self conscious anymore.

le sigh.

-BabyGinz-

Friday, March 20, 2009

These are some videos i've encountered on a blog of a friend and they are shit awesome.

perhaps a little too much time?




this is one of the most beautifully made stop motion videos i've ever seen and an awesome song to boot =D he has a lovely voice no?

-The video was shot all stills - roughly 3225 still photos for the entire video, using one camera, hanging from the ceiling for the main body of the movie.

- It took 4 weeks before shooting to create an animated computer generated storyboard for the video, with 3d dummies for the characters.

-It took only 2 days of shooting for the live actors on set to re-create the 3.5 minutes computer sequence, frame by frame.

-BabyGinz-

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I FUCKING FUCKING HATE it when people move things in my room without telling me. IS IT SO HARD TO BLOODY understand the words DO NOT TOUCH MY STUFF mean anything in this fucked up household?

now i get why my sister locks her room everyday but fuck this. because im the youngest and apparently still 5 im not allowed to lock my room. oh no siree..locking it for more than half an hour a day brings suspicious and thereby a series of banging and screaming on the other side of the door.

the boy said im growing old too quickly. i think so too. at this rate of absolutely unnecessary stress i reckon i'll commit suicide before my time. not like there hasnt been various attempts already.

just shoot me already.

seriously.

-BabyGinz-

14 Nov 08 @ Asian Cool Tokyo Style Gatsby Hairshow, Zouk KL
er..okay yeah this is an extremely extremely heavy picture post.. even more picture heavy than my camwhore one so be warned.. pictures taken from all over the place but as usual la..mostly of myself only..keep other ppls pics for what... hahahha

some of the pics are also from Vven's cam and some from mine =) too many to caption so ill leave this one blank.

-BabyGinz-