..Click Click Click..
So i finally got around to sorta finishing my layout. still a bit buggy here and there but im not free now la! later la ;p
Oh and if my layout is wonky on your browser its probabaly because your browsers old "=_= go update it.
..The Princess..
I am the very sin of life itself, living in a world and civilization i deem unworthy of the many now ruined perfection it was blessed with. The social
anti-social i be but thats another part of me you will
eventually see or hope to see.
I suffer from a bipolar disorder and can feel extreme happiness and sadness in the most disturbing of manner. Manic depressive some often call me or "emo
girl" for short.
But who am i really?
That girl on the street you thought was hot or perhaps that girl you laughed at the day before.
What you see is your perception of me but what you know is something that even i find much a mystery.
Yes that is me in the picture and yes that is a pink cigarette i'm holding but no i'm not a smoker. But believe what you may for doubts will inevitably
be existant.
..She Supports..
..Talk..
..Credits..
I'm Ginny; girly, emotional, rough and fundamentally retarded. Oh, mustn't forget extremely lazy and amazing at procrastination as well and err...well, clumsy (don't ask). The surname's Yap and no my full name isn't really necessary in introductions. Arrogant, stubborn and well, what more might you ask?
IM AWESOME. Nuff said.
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
but the thing about people around me. i guess everyone is two faced one way or another. me included. when we're angry at someone we talk bad about that person no matter how close he/she is to us. but sometimes it doesnt really mean anything and real friends are the friends who know you talk bad about them and yet accept the fact that they do.
maybe the things they say actually does reflect something bad about you and maybe we should just accept it and listen. hm. i actually dont know where im going with this post because whatever i intentionally wanted to write about just dissapeared from my head for some weird reason @_@
blah. bottom line. everyone is two faced. so no point complaining about it ;p
on another note. sitting at the table today it felt really akward as we sat side by side avoiding each other's gaze. a tense silence enveloped the table and no words passed between us except for the occasional quiet word or two.
and hour and a half passed with such unfamiliarity it choked me and all i could do was stare at my paper and pretend to write even when there was nothing to written. all so the time would pass a little faster and i could escape this unfamiliar world.
u got up from the table and hurried the others maybe for the same reasons i wanted to leave the table. as u stood there and our gaze finally met. you smiled that familiar smile yet it just wasnt the same. but at that moment. all feelings of regret and sadness melted away and im reminded of the past we once had. the smile that i was met with nearly everyday just a while back.
you've lost a lot of weight my dear friend. it kind of scares me to think how much you must be putting yourself through right now and i wish i could show you how much i really care. but i cant and i think you can probably understand how hard it is to turn back to what it once was. impossible it's not but i guess it takes a little more time and effort.
i dont really know what to say.
but i hope you know how much you mean to me.
and you forgot your birthday presents again.
and your black pants have been uncovered.
i was having tuition and when i came up to my com this is what i saw on my msn =D
i love my baby too =D
Hehehe...
Haagen Dazs is a baldie..
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
whos up for it?
only 33.90!
hallooweeennn. i wannaa goo hallooweeenn parttyy.. zouk? hmmm
Monday, October 29, 2007
and now i can pretty much understand why.
as i lay there in the dark awaiting her footsteps. the words just fucking slam her against the wall and drive a knife through her fucking head kep repeating itself. even at this moment it takes all my self reserve and will power not to do it.
sitting at the dining table with a glass in my hand she screams again pointless and adding to my frustration and i can see the veins along my fingers start to stick out as my hands clench tighter against the glass threatening to break it with my bare hands and i turn to look at him. his face registers anger and yet he looks at me with a patience and care so deep i let go of the glass and look down while she continues to scream.
but one day.
i think i really will do it.
the music was amazzziinnng the food was pretty good the set up not bad. so what was wrong.? HELLO. TRY WALKING IN A MUD FEST AND DANCING IN IT. does that answer your question? =3
yeap. the ground was completely muddy and not a single cement or tar road in sight. HOW FUCKING RETARDED IS THAT. and the worst part is. they were playing reaaallly good music at the godskitchen and r n b area T_T SO SAD CAN DIE.
all in all. the trip to melaka was pretty T_T it was also my 1st time trying chicken rice ball and oh boy was a dissapointed T_T sigh.
sadness.
Friday, October 26, 2007
this is how my 1st three hamsters this year came home. hehehe. yeaps. those are hamsters in there.
the only picture i have of my baby ruby T_T
and its blur T_T
mr kokopops cream. one of our 7 pigs. hehe. cutie isnt he.
help college carpark.
hmm..
hmph. look up my nosee hollee and get lostttttt in it *O*
muuuu..
looks. our heads forms a heart. hehe
on another note i realise blogger on ftp is really pissing me off.. a lot of problems and my damn archives arent achiving again!! WTF. so annoying can die
#*&&&&&&$^&#^$#
Thursday, October 25, 2007
im so broke that ive been looking for work and every job i have been offered i have had to reject cuz of school "=_=
and then i was just talking about how long it's been since i last did a shoot and today some magazine calls for a cover shoot tomorrow and guess what. yeap. what else. the school decides to hold some stupid cca thing where im expected to attend "=_= wad da fak...
SIENZ...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
http://maxis.communities.com.my/sites/cysrigarden/
cant believe i built that last year and now i cant even make a damn rollover image work or get a damn footer image in my blog. &*$#^*$^#&$#
at this rate ill probably only get it up after spm or even next year "=_=
sigh.
i have become a html noob.
save me.
sign.
aihya i noe i bising a lot of all this but i like can
harsh words said and screaming heard becomes nothing out of the ordinary instead takes its place as a daily affair as curious ears of passerbys grow accustom to the noise.
a place im expected to call home where love is meant to be unconditional...
and i would love nothing more than to be erased from this tree of what one would call a family.
The Penis Wants a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1——– I do physical labor.
2.——- I work at great depths.
3.——- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4.——- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5.——–I work in a damp environment.
6. ——-I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7.——- I work in high temperatures.
8. ——-My work exposes me to diseases.
Reply: Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. ——You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. ——You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.
3. ——You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. ——You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. ——You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. ——You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. ——You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. ——You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. ——You are unable to work double shifts.
10. —–You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. —–And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
Five reasons not to be a penis:
1. ——You’re bald your whole life.
2. ——You have a hole in your head.
3. ——Your neighbors are nuts.
4. ——The guy behind you is an ass hole and…
5. ——Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint.
credits to Chee Weng
>ignore me. just testing something.
a mother of 4 with one child gone in an accident and the rest far far away she sells these paper and aluminium swans for a living. they look pretty cool.
this is about a week old but HERE's the full story.
go buy a swan ;p hehe
that little amount of money might just make a little old lady smile for a day. =)
literally.
i wanted to snap a picture to show the whole world but she was being a restless and annoying prat today and refused to sit still on my palm or anywhere else except her dumb wheel where i cant get her picture "=_=.
she wasnt always pink. in fact she just turned pink today @_@.
she used to be entirely white. yupz. i got that ultra rare pure white syrian hamster WITH BLACK eyes that people spend years trying to find. and she manage to turn herself pink today "=_= and im wondering if the dye will come out or she will remain permanantly pink for the rest of her hamsterish years.
but that's pretty cool seeing as i have this fascination with pink. hahaha. now she matches my phone and my watch and my bags! =D which im not sure i want to put her in again because she bit holes in my favourite adidas bag. yeap. the one i always use. pfft.
so anyway.
i have a pink hamster.
and i will try to take her picture again tomorrow.
if she's still pink by then.
....
snowy the pink hamster.
pink.
a fully pink hamster.
blinks.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
"i can see you havent written in a long time. your standard of english has dropped so much. i was really surprised reading your english lit paper. sheen leng wrote this? how come!"
@_@.
all the more reason to start spending money on books and reading. BWhahAhahahahahh!!!
and my head hurts like fuck
october is a fucked month.
Monday, October 22, 2007
and so it was the pinkpau's 19th birthday bash =3
THE MOST WICKED SICK CAKE EVER!
like damn cool can. they even made the effort to put cum all over the body and a dildo in his ass. how wicked sick is that! and it taste good too! =D
from just heavenly. or something like that @_@ i 4got. hahaha
haha..literally pink pinkpau and gin who accidentally wore the same dress *O* JENG JENG JENG
ooohh.. me like.
"=_=
the pic she labelled the Boob picture.
feet =D.
gin n vvens. wah i look so chan can die.
interesting toilet door! PEEP HOLE!
and u can actually really peep inside just so you know. heh
mwahhaha. guess where we are ;p
view from the peephole.
*O*
the picture before the waiter hit the table and made my cam fall HARD on the floor T_T.
=D
pretty picture.
me like.
i miss you
T_T
Sunday, October 21, 2007
had a not so wonderful dinner with my fav seniors/clowns aaron and alvin with of course baby at kaki corner @_@ SLOW SLOW SLOW food and baby ordered pineapple fried rice which i actually think taste better than the westerm food there despite them being a western food restaurant and the rice came like half an hour before our western food came "=_= bleks..
it's been a long time since ive been out with them and they still never fail to put a smile on my face =D
and then i had the unfortuntae incident of having stomachache and ending up crapping in aarons hse..hwahahhaa.. den off to 1u for the g man's birthday at mardi gras..
upon arrival..my stomach did a backflip again so zoom zoom we had to go to the toilet *O*
the music at mardi gras was good =3 mmm.. havent danced in a long time but damn lousy okay their dance floor "=_= SO SMALL IT WAS LIKE A HEIGHTENED WOODEN PLANK! blah! but they had good music..luckily *consoles self* had great company =D miss the babes!! send me pics ;p la la la..
but some idiot had to spray pepper spray or something in the club and i nearly died *O* im sick n someone sprays pepper spray mahai. cannot breath man. and then sopmeone called bukit aman and they were suppose to come or something but im not sure because i fled the scene ;p whahahaha. no la. just left to be on the safe side =3
and today was spent at the grand opening of JP performance racing. and the bum bum danny came =D havent seen him in ages and he's still as idiotic as ever.. kakaka.. made me laugh a lot. although he did ask a sensitive question @_@..
the first thing he said when he saw me was eh! wheres *the girl in the below post*. pfft.
went over to sunway to replace my poor ruby and home where i pretty much died @_@.
anyway im on an unofficial diet starting tomorrow in conjuction with the rave on sat *O* later someone pull off my top again den WHERE GOT NICE TO SEE A FAT WOBBLY PERSON in a bikini top! bleks.. DIET DIET.
just for 1 week and i can eat all i want again after the rave!!!
food.
me love.
we started out as friends from a long time ago. not friend friends but funny enough just online friends. it wasnt until like 5 years later did we actually start to talk. how did it happen i cant really remember but it was amazing how well we clicked and it went on pretty well.
until quite recently where it seems like that friendship is gone.
don't get me wrong.
we still are friends.
but it just isnt the same.
we used to be really close. so close that our driving instructors called us sisters. and as far as my friendships have gone. no one has ever refered to me and my friend as sisters. and we weren't even sitting in the same car together.
we went almost everywhere together and people would always think if there was me. there would definitely be her.
there was even one point in our friendship where she quite literally lived in my house. and we used to talk about how cool it would be if we actually really lived together. we talked a lot. and we even talked about growing old and rich and living next to each other.
she meant the world to be and made me almost believe in the word best friends but i guess it's lucky i hadn't because well. it's just lucky i hadn't completely given hope that maybe best friends really do exist.
there is so much more i would like to talk about. but thinking about the past brings nothing but hurt and i wonder how did this once thick string of friendship reach that fine fragile line.
i kind of think i know.
but then im not entirely sure.
and i want her to know.
i really really miss her.
and if there was the past where i cried because i lost a friend. she would be that one. it's been 4-5 years since i cried for a friend. and now it's repeating. just with different reasons.
and it was my baby ruby.. my gold syrian with ruby red eyes.. not those scary red type but gorgeous deep red coloured eyes... and she was fucking pregnant too...
fuck it..
and the strangest part is.. the top part of my hamsters cage.. one part of it was in the dustbin.. what are the chances of either my dog or my hamster opening a cage that requires a person to TURN it so that it can open... and put it nicely in the trashcan....
there is definitely something seriously wrong..
Saturday, October 20, 2007
took the gang + emz up to look out point for hy's 17th birthday. not much pics. i didnt have a cam.
it's in hulu langat or so thats what someone just told me *O*
pic seen previously.
no we dont know them. just wanted to show you the view.
its blur but me likes this pic.
hahaha..i look damn funny but i love the colours
hm
in case you hadn't already noticed.
that's me and emz in the back.
yeap. the previous pic too.
"=_=
uh @_@. slime infested area.
or so they had to learn the hard way.
tiny
if u open this it looks like u can see cw's skeletons or something @_@.
i dont know why she had such a reaction @_@. i 4got
tsk. im such a nice friend.
i feel like eating cake *O*
dark groupie.
wtf?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
and im about to KO any minute now "=_= urgh.. everyone will be done with exams after this maths paper but i have tomorrow to go T_T and i havent even read 1 quarter of my eng lit stuff yet.. doomed..
oh.
and jack daniels suck >=( BooOooOOOOoo!!
dont ask me why.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
old friends die hard
but close friendships never really last the way you expect them to.
i guess that's just life for you.
or in my case
me.
me : EH! i know what im gonna buy you for your birthday jor! kekeke
nat : IS IT!! DONT BUY PETS ARH!!
me : it's a pet leh. but no hair wan.
nat : HAR?! NO HAIR? YOU BUYING ME A RAT AH? I DONT WANT A RAT!
me : @_@ rats got hair lor hello.
nat : eh? yeahmeh? @_@
deafening silence swollowed us whole as we sat apart. nothing was heard except the harsh breathing of our lungs and the quiet spilling of tears. that is until the silence was broken by that one painful word.
*break-up*
i could do nothing more but stare as a sad painful smile crept up my face. i tried to make you smile using the same phrase that almost always worked.
*smile for me*
except this time it didn't.all you could do was answer me no and stare back at me with an intensity so deep more tears sprung into my eyes.
we sat in that silence. a gap in between us until i could bear it no longer.
"can i have a hug?" was the message on my screen as i pondered whether to show it to him or let it be.
i chose the one i wanted more. and he obliged.
we still sat in deafening silence. but this time with the comfort of each others warmth and sincerity. only it hurt even more than it did before.
we had a little chat which provoked nothing but more salty tears and a tugging of painful aches within my heart.
i looked up and your lips were just next to mine. desire hung in the air but i could do nothing but stare. you were no longer mine and i was no longer yours. a kiss would only defeat the purpose of our so called rendezvous.
i finally pulled away realising the daftness of my actions as we continue to sit in that silence when you suddenly got up and with a lingering glace walked away from what was once us.
questions evaded my mind and i got up and called out for you.
i called once, twice even thrice but you continued to walk down the path every step producing more tears.
until my last attempt you stopped. yet you didnt turn around.
i stared at your back as i wondered what to do. walk away or walk towards you. i wanted to let go. i wanted to end the pain but watching your back bathed in lights i could resist not but to hold you once more.
immediately i felt you quiver as you turned around and hugged me back. we cried as we hugged under the street lights oblivous to the passing cars just by our sides.
and till now i wondered
would it have been my biggest regret if i had just let you walk away.
i love you baby.
here's to more days of us.
Monday, October 15, 2007
with fucked up people.
and silent arguments with the boy.
life just cant get any better than this
smirks
earlier on i damn semangat wanted to post pictures from a LONG LONG TIME ago event..lolz... but i manage to upload 2 and blogger started to lag and i couldnt anymore so i tried messing around with my layout instead.. which i will not put up until its completely done okay "=_= ..
I KNOW SLOW LAR..
BUT U KNOW HOW LONG I HAVENT PLAYED WITH HTML CODINGS AH. VEYR STRESS WAN YOU KNOW OR NOT.
blasted
Sunday, October 14, 2007
i have this bizarre attraction to being around people and meeting new ones whenever and where ever. be it at a party. a club or even at work. but to the irony of it all. i find it too much a hassle to do so and at the same time even make an effort to do so. but throw me in a party with strangers when im in a good mood or an okay mood and i'll be off chatting the night away and just making new friends.
but as time grew on this strange habit of mine slowly disappeared and i grew more and more into my shell. for some reason or another i can't seem to bother interacting with strangers unless forced to by courtesy of answering someone when being talked to. this lasted about a year until very much lately particularly this 1-2 months.
i've begin to realise that i actually miss being in the social scene and being around people. many a times i've tried to get back that life i've lost but as the exams draw closers i have less freedom to work and the boy seems to refuse to attend any parties that i ask him to.
there's always the reason he's not dressed. hes having a headache. he doesnt feel like it or he's tired. i've always kept quiet about it showing my annoyance in a more subtle manner than my usual shoot you in the face methods. if any of you have been in the back seat and notice the sudden silence and tension in the car. you'll know im in a bad mood or im annoyed.
this week. i've has the "pleasure" of not attending 3-4 parties due to such reasons. which is a new record for me. @_@.
and if you've (the boy) have been wondering why i always suddenly go quiet in the car and suddenly become distant. yeaps. its cuz im annoyed at you but i rather not open my mouth because we would probably end up in a fight which we havent had for aeons.
dont ask me why i would rather blog about it then tell you face to face because i really dont know. i always blog when in in a bad mood. i write more "=_= lolz. and it makes me wonder what ever happened to you.
you've changed so much from the 1st time i met you and i wonder if you've changed or i'm actually starting to see the real you. isnt it funny how the social has become anti social and the anti social misses being social.
and you're always in one of your moods. at 1st i thought okay hes just going through stress and it'll pass but it's been going on for months now and it's starting to get to me. at times i want so much to see you but at the same time i dont feel like it because i know im just going to have to go through that moody you. day by day without fail. sometimes it makes me feel like getting away from you instead. and i hate that. because i love you. but sometimes a person can only take so much.
maybe im being selfish. maybe im being incosiderate. im not really sure. but sometimes it really is pretty hard on me. and i know it isnt any easier for you. but i dont know. i just feel like letting it out right now.
most of you may ask me why cant i just go without him and the truth is i wonder about that too.
is it because i feel that it is my obligation as his girlfriend to be with him instead or is it because im afraid to do something that i have always scorned other couples for doing. some to the extent that they would lie to their significant others just to have a little time of their own and to be around others other than them.
maybe there are more reasons to this. reason i just cannot seem to grasp at the moment. and i cant help but wonder.
why things always happen the way they do.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
im not sure if it's just the mid valley outlet or all the other outlets..
anywayyyy..
im finally working on my blog layout again after abandoning it for so long.. KAKAKKA.. way overdued i know.. but im finally done with my banner. at least i think i am @_@ and i've made much progress today =D ..
my new layout will be up sooN!
i promise..
but do be warned. it might annoy you anti-cute loving and anti-pink people .. =/
Friday, October 12, 2007
good quality strawberry yoghurt with freshly cut chilled green apple.
yum.
ah. the irony of it all.
the chick who loves healthy food but is the most unhealthy person alive *o*
To you,
there are actually a lot of thigns i wish i could say to you but i just cant bring myself to do it because of the way you would react to it. which i know by now. but sometimes keeping everything inside makes me feel so suffocated and i wonder how much more can i really take.
To you,
I wonder if we're even still friends.
To you,
I know we messed up somewhere with our friendship. im not sure if its more on your part or mine because at that one point you really hurt me pretty badly. but sometimes i really do miss having you around.
To you,
a while back you asked me some questions regarding my life. at that time i told you absolute truths but im beginning to wonder if those truths are really even true. because im beginning to doubt some of my answers right now.
To you,
it's been a long time since you've been over. i miss youre little kancil or was it kelisa @_@ and your cacat-ness and ugly flower drawings.. lol..you probabaly know who you are by now ;p come down cheras and take me out lor! long time didnt be sorhais together.
To you and you,
i havent heard or seen you guys or the gang for that matter for a really long time. i kinda miss your messages and calls and the times we used to hang out at maisons jumping around in huge circles on the dancefloor. im sorry i always reject your invitations but they really weren't on purpose. just want you guys to know i miss you.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
hahaha..my room will be the aquarian room if there's no changes in plans.
4 aquarians in a room *o*
pretty cool if you think about it.
i swear this has got to be one of the most annoying tags i've ever gotten. it took me forever to find the pictures and i got 2 different ones which were almost similiar so i combined them but certain ones i removed because i was getting wayyyy to annoyed at trying to find the pics..
and i came to the sad discovery that im missing like half my original pictures.. sigh..
so sad can die..
1.The Most Recent Picture Of You
while trying to study in starbucks but getting really bored
2. A picture of you with your halloween costume
okay..so it's not my halloween costume and my halloween costume last yr consisted of ears shorts and stockings which were not very special anyway so there ;p
3. A Picture of you with a friend
Who are you with
Veron Yap who has the same taste in clothing as me =D
4. A picture with your hair up
Do you like your hair up?
YEAPS..but it's too short now
5.A picture of you in black and white
Did you edit this picture to black and white or did you take it like that?taken like that
Do you like black and white or coloured pictures better?
depends on the picture
6. A picture of you with a WEIRD face
Is your face more funny or just straight up scary?
im not quite sure.. =/
7.In pink
8. In Black
hehehe. good old times.
9. In Red
i dont have much red U_U
10.In Green
so i look weird.. shut up okay.
11. With a peace sign
12. With you sticking out your tongue
combo picture okay!
13. A picture of you looking mad
not very angry looking but i lazy to find lar..
14.Your Best Make Up
this has to be one of my favs *o* damn yengz can!
15.Your Favourite Pose
haha...in my case it's poses.
picture taken from the top.
the lanc look
the cat lips
kiss
and the blow up cheeks
16.Being Ugly
this has seriously got to be one of my worst pics ever.. i dont even know why i still keep it "=_=
I TAG
whoever wants to do it because this has been the most annoying tag ever "=_=