..Click Click Click..
So i finally got around to sorta finishing my layout. still a bit buggy here and there but im not free now la! later la ;p
Oh and if my layout is wonky on your browser its probabaly because your browsers old "=_= go update it.
..The Princess..
I am the very sin of life itself, living in a world and civilization i deem unworthy of the many now ruined perfection it was blessed with. The social
anti-social i be but thats another part of me you will
eventually see or hope to see.
I suffer from a bipolar disorder and can feel extreme happiness and sadness in the most disturbing of manner. Manic depressive some often call me or "emo
girl" for short.
But who am i really?
That girl on the street you thought was hot or perhaps that girl you laughed at the day before.
What you see is your perception of me but what you know is something that even i find much a mystery.
Yes that is me in the picture and yes that is a pink cigarette i'm holding but no i'm not a smoker. But believe what you may for doubts will inevitably
be existant.
..She Supports..
..Talk..
..Credits..
I'm Ginny; girly, emotional, rough and fundamentally retarded. Oh, mustn't forget extremely lazy and amazing at procrastination as well and err...well, clumsy (don't ask). The surname's Yap and no my full name isn't really necessary in introductions. Arrogant, stubborn and well, what more might you ask?
IM AWESOME. Nuff said.
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Monday, August 31, 2009
Do you know how much pain im going through right now?
Do you?
Do you even know how much tears i have spilled for you?
" why you come here during rainy season? damn bad luck lor you " - Eveline
haha. the irony. everytime it rains here i cry.
just take me back in time. to say the words i had to say and to do those things i wished i did. i just needed a little more time.
" go talk to him about it now la!. don't regret later k? " - Xind
i am incapable of talking about it. not because i dont want to but because i can't. im afraid. i was afraid and i think this time maybe it's too late.
Labels: angry, confessions, emo, personal, sad, upset, wordy
Sunday, August 30, 2009
what? i really dont know.
a chill pill perhaps.
im a ball of negativity.
restless and tired.
say something.
xind i need you.
aaron come back. i need you too.
3 more months.
should i?
should i not??
1 more year.
will i?
will i not??
answer me.
Labels: confessions, cravings, musings, personal, pics, upset
Friday, August 28, 2009
in the 3 days i have been here i have refused to step out of this house going out only once to the city yesterday. after 2 hours i was exhausted and all i felt like doing was going back home to cry under the covers.
the weather isnt really that bad but for some reason i seem to have lost my smile.
last night, i snapped at a very close friend of mine. he's always been quite a dickhead but not in a bad way kind just the i trust you enough and i know you dont mind so i can be this way kind of thing. ive always been fine with it just laughing it off but last night i snapped.
my mood was so shit i hade a sushi roll for lunch and nothing else. amazing really considering how much i've been eating since i got to australia and how it's winter. that and a cookie bryan bought me in sydney in hopes that it would cheer me up. triple chocolate fudge, definitely sounds like something that would cheer anyone up huh. it was a good cookie just like he said but it did nothing for me but miss Sydney even more.
i fell asleep upset, hungry and pissed off.
and today i woke up feeling the same.
i remember feeling something like this the last time i was in melbourne. i wonder why. maybe this place and me just dont get along very well.
right now, all i want to do is sit under the showers and cry my eyes out.
Labels: confessions, emo, personal, upset
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
i hadnt expected the tears to hit me that fast or that hard but from the walk outside into the terminal and onto the plane my tears did not stop. and i cried myself to sleep on that plane staring at the lights of the city that stole my heart.
i remember crying the night before but no one noticed. staring at the ceiling i felt the sheets around me get damp as my breathing got harder. i got up, took a look around the room i had been staying in and walked down to that sofa i loved and spent much hours just stoning at.
there i sat curled up staring at the red or pink lights bryan so conveniently pointed out knowing how attracted to pink i apparently am and thought to myself why the hell am i even crying over something as dumb as leaving a city like Sydney. and then it hit me and i cried so hard i could barely breathe.
how do u cry so much after being in a place for just a mere 3 days?
theres so much more i want to say but i guess there really isnt much left to say really.
i left a part of my heart in sydney and right now i dont even know how the hell am i going to get it back.
time to snap back into reality princess.
Labels: confessions, emo, personal, stupidity, upset
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
and i have fallen hard for the city of Sydney. strange really. it's not my first time here but everything feels so new and welcoming.not something i would expect from a city like this. feels like home =)
gonna fucken miss the weather here and home cooked meals =) and hyper active Kim who comes back every 4 months anyway =p hahah stupid girl too much time wei.
walking around today i had a lot of things on my mind just waiting to be splashed onto my way too pink blog but sitting here now as always i really do not know what to say.
i spent the day in silence today. not an upset kind of silence but a deep in thought just to absorb everything kind of silence. i like this kind of silence. instead of being watched im just part of the background, staring quietly and watching everything move around me. feels good.
it's peaceful where i am. i feel different somehow.
amd i know i will leave tomorrow with tears in my eyes.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
it's rare to walk into a house and feel like you've been living there all your life. The couches an earthly tone, soft and just the right size coupled with some very pretty pillows just lying here while i watch the boys cook is enough to make me fall asleep with a smile.
speakers plugged into the laptop and a very me kind of playlist makes it all the better and yet it makes me kind of sad to know that i'll only be here for such a short period of time.
right now the smell of freshly made mushroom soup, yes the kind made from scratch fills the room and my eyes are half closed as the melody of one republic flits past my ears.
i am happy today.
yes i am.
hey you, i saw a bunch of asians skating in china town today and it reminded me of you =) you would love sydney. let's come again one day.
Labels: confessions, happy, personal, wordy
winter makes u lazy and produces excessively hairy girls like me .___.
touched down with virgin blur airlines which is btw now my favourite budget airlines because the seats are really comfy and there's enough leg space for ya =D
greeted by lovely lovely sun and had the most scruptious organic breakfast. yeay! i love organic food =)
and the weather is so nice here i have no clothes to wear "=_= because i packed according to what i thought it would be like in perth and melb. zzzz.
i feel like rollerblading. ho hum.
xind!! u should sooooo be here.
happy happy joy joy
Saturday, August 22, 2009
hello readers of obs3ssionsz.net.
:*)
ginny is currently on the plane off to melbourne . and shuushh she doesnt have a clue that im hijacking her blog:P. oh well! gosh one week has seriously passed by in a jiffy!!!!!
0___0. dude andill be seeing her in less than 5 months!
thanks for visiting me in perth ginnnnz!
okkay i better leave now :)
nights darling cupcakes of obs3ssionsz.net.
x
Labels: guest blog, travel
Thursday, August 20, 2009
watching people in different environments and watching how differently they behave upsets me a little because sometimes the changes arent exactly in the best of ways or the most welcoming of aura. don't get me wrong, im probably the same but i guess when you arrive somewhere expecting something the after maths can end up quite devastating.
or maybe it's just me. strange how asian everything really is here and as asian as i am, fitting into the asian environment here is like asking me a duck to go make friends with a flock of chickens. it's just too different in a sense that it isnt the side of asians i really like. Jess C! i miss you!! boo to you for leaving me so early. hmph!
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had the biggest mug of beer at 230 PM in the afternoon yesterday and the cutest waiter served us. she was tall and skinny with this really shy smile yet she had a nose ring indicating she really isnt as innocent as she looks.
i spent a good deal of my time sipping my beer and watching her dart around with this adorably worried look she had plastered on most of the time. she made me smile =)
cant wait for sydney! shop till we drop =D
Labels: confessions, musings, personal, rants, tragedies, wordy
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
so far perth has been treating me fairly well but budgeting is going to be the death of me. dang nabbit i hate the exchange rate T_T and i hate having to think about how overweight my baggage is going to be. pfft. stupidity.com yo.
i have succumbed to buying pumps because i made the fatal mistake of wearing boots out for such long hours. hurhurhur. and pumps make me look like a carrot because my feet are so small. and i walk like a penguin in them. wtf. nat! maybe thats why u walk and run like a penguin. HUR HUR HUR.
on another note. i am still confused with myself. sigh
Labels: confessions, personal, random, stupidity
Saturday, August 15, 2009
had bloody 20 AUD shisha yesterday holy shit but i have found my new love. apple+cinnamon tea. oh hell good! sam! ill show u when i get back!!
i love perth =) i love it as much as i did when i stayed here for a month 9 years ago. some things really never do change around here. same familiar streets with the same familiar shops. awesome much?
hell i talk like xind now. wtf.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
tears heartaches and confused head, i think things are slowly starting to piece themselves more clearly together. All those mish mashed psychedelicly mind fucking emotions are nothing more but coloured strokes drawing a picture of mine.
chilling session with friends newly met, or more like old acquaintainces that rarely talk was heartwarming in a sense. 3 girls browsing the aisles of borders and tesco, gigglings at random things and cooing over pretty covered paperbacks was such a delightfully refreshing event. thank you chingy and wendy ( sorry was it wendy?? i think it was wendy. lol ) for teman-ing me even though you guys could have gone =)
car rides, smooth shisha and random catching up with my 2 boys (self proclaimed bf and self proclaimed open relationship baby bf. you guys know who you are) made my day today. Light FM playing songs that would make anyone smile and that familiar highway i used to pass by so often holding his hand brought back memories and feelings once thought forgotten.
hey you, i really do miss you.just took me a little time to realise just how much.
hello down under! see you people soon! rarw
Labels: confessions, happy, him, personal
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Up was one of the most emotional movies i have ever watched and less than 20 minutes into the movie tears were already brimming my eyes. it was amazing how much this movie tugged at my heart strings, playing with every known feeling i could muster the courage to allow to actually show.
i dont know what else to say but 2 thumbs up to pixars team. you guys blew my mind away. =)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
i thought i was stronger than this. i should be stronger than this.
my heads spinning in unanswered questions. questions i dont even realise much less understand.
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
Monday, August 10, 2009
miko and my ass
scary smile
and i really did fall asleep "=_=
chippy baby
more ugly pics of me. good grief
nat chai being domesticated.
hello my illusion-ed long skinny hand friend
pink icing!
us poor sods who were commisioned to ice the beloved "guai lous" gfs vday present. pfft
not bad right my skills T_T say not bad
a bit squiggly la T___T
my name in corean apparently!
nats creation "=_=
i like this pic.
whos fingers?
"guai lou" and his girl =)
pretty cool pic
thats fugz btw
222 again laaaaa. telur setengah masak the bomb
wtf
interesting story behind this pic. hmm
Labels: animals, camwhore, desserts, dogs, home cooked, pics