Thursday, May 21, 2009

Heightened State of Confusion

why is it that when we try to take short naps our minds start to go into worry of not waking up within that set time limit you gave yourself or in fear of being unable to wake up in time to continue cramming our minds with information that we are probably never going to use or see the daylight of time ever again.

when this worry sets it it starts a chain of annoying heightened sense of awareness of everything around you. lights become brighter and sound waves reach those delicate ears in an amplitude much higher than you once remembered.

everything becomes clearer allright,except that fuzzy tired mind and as much as you want to study your mind tells you to take a short nap and this annoying cause of anxiety just fucks you over.

sometimes i wonder why we have exams. i remember randomly reading my text books out of curiousty and due to the leisurely sentiment of that time, my brain absored every little bit of detail and fact like a sponge. my mouth would open up and shoot out random excited statements aimed at the bf out of the whole thrill of learning something new.

i am in nerd in such sense, i love learning new things.

but the whole idea of having to be forced to memorise everything just to score in a damn paper that barely proves anything makes the whole process appaling. nothing i read is interesting anymore and nothing i read even wants to make a little lodge of indentation in that pissed off brain of mine.

where is the beaty in education if this is what it has become. a pathethic way of students to prove how well their brain can memorise facts that they find absolutely no interest in.

i want to be a kid again. time where exams didnt exist and where the opening ups of encylopedias and dictionaries made my eyes light up. U_U

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-BabyGinz-