Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Silver Lining

there have been a few positive continuations since the arrival of your bizarre confession and your proceedings to behave as if it was not at all you who had started the whole messy riff raff. although it is obvious that it has become only messy on my side and it is by no means bothering you or YOUR BUSY schedule at all and i am nothing more to you but of the past.

one being the fact that i finally drove after over 2 years of first getting my license. it was your words that probed at it. words that were said ages ago but somehow made me want to try. "when are you going to drive me around! i dont care man. the next time i'm back in kl im going to call and say ginnnnyyyyyyy i want to eat and you will come and fetch me." why those words would have any effect on me is beyond my comprehension but fact of the fact is, i finally drove.

the second being that i have unseemingly decided that i will at least attempt to go for classes and graduate with pretty decent results in order to get to you. admittedly i am still skimping classes but i no longer use lack of transportation as an excuse and have successfully gone for more than 2 days of classes in a week. my lack of attendance in moral studies is starting to prove to be rather perplexing as i think i have been barred but have yet to be told. i am fearful that i will have to go through the whole rubbish course again. this is very disheartening because it takes me one step furthur away from you. that and the fact that my lecturer is homophobic which does not at all amuse me one bit.

the third being that during working hours time passes faster because i am so preoccupied with the words MUST MAKE MORE MONEY TO GO THERE. not that i have that many jobs but so far whatever has come my way had not been as bad as i had anticipated. and my accounts are not dwindling away as quickly as they used to. in fact i have just about enough for a trip there when i feel like it. or so i would like to think.

and the fourth. i have started to read again. a trait i had lost long ago. i am now able to go through about 3-400 pages in a day unlike the previous months where after 10 pages or so i would get distracted by something else. although this may not neccesarilly be a silver lining as it means i will end up spending money on books which i deem are getting more and more expensive by the day. nope. not good. not good at all.

had a list of other things to rattle on about but my eyes are tired. so good day to you too.

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-BabyGinz-