Monday, July 20, 2009

Lose Myself

all it took was a few hours of pure stupidity to kill that state of joy i was in. im slipping away again. it's not a pretty sight.

once again in my eyes i see the sight of gleaming metal and those pretty crimson lines. even the imagined sight of it puts a little smile at the side of my lips. perhaps i really am deranged.

i thought i was prepared. i thought i saw it coming.

but all i did was hurt everyone in it.

i dissappointed those that loved me most, ignored their acquisitions of what they had perceived of my pathethic little situation. i knew what they said were true, i knew the outcome of it; yet still i chose to go along.

why was i do dumb?

why didnt i swim away the way i knew i should have? why did i let myself drown in such an undignified way?

last night, i lost myself.

this morning, i am someone else.

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-BabyGinz-