Friday, October 16, 2009

Starry Eyed Fall

im smiling for you. im smiling with you except once again the jokes on me.

built my walls on hate. told myself no just go. have fun let loose and now i find myself doing things for you i normally wouldnt. sitting on your bed telling you i was going out yesterday, the cold look and answers you gave me froze me in place. i irritate you to no ends, piss you off unexpectedly and normally i wouldnt give a shit because who the hell are you to me? and likewise i am nobody to you. and that is how you like it.

today i said 5 years down the road im going to see you and you're going to forget who i ever was just like every other one you have. without a hint of hesitation you said most likely and for some reason i smiled. an affectionate smile. i think you noticed because after that you said, you? i think you i will remember. it didnt mean anything. it doesnt mean anything. so why even bother?

we always want what we can't have.

and i should know this by now.

so why do i let my mask slowly fall like raindrops against a window pane.

i'm falling.

and i cant help it. and i know you will hate me for it.

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-BabyGinz-