Monday, June 06, 2005

haih

my head hurts and here i am online.. AGAIN... which has been what ive been doing for a while now these holidays..my blog..lol...when im bored..i type out random emotions and random stuff here.. and now is one of those times >.<

my friend just ask me..what make me love ian so much...lol...im not sure and i wish i could answer.. but being with him just brightens my day and seeing him smile *provided im not really pissed off at him* make me smile as well.. he seems to be the only guy that can make me laugh and smile but just looking at me with his adorable sheepish look he seems to always have >.< mischevious like he's thinking of something eechi(notti notti) ;p lol.. which is quite often ..haha..i love the way he holds me..and lies on my lap while i clean his ears...lol..and his drool gets all over...i love the way he fights over my cup noodles wid me..and looks at me while i eat with that *i dont want to eat....well..yes actually i do.. gimme gimme* haha..and gobbles up like most of my food...i love watching him sleep..look so innocent..n vulnerable to the world...

i love fighting with him..and winning most of the time..mwhehehehe...pulling his pants down in front of everybody when he least expects...sucking up to him and act all manja...i love his kisses his hugs...everything...the way he gets all whiny when i refuse to do something for him and the way he acts all manja with me..i love the way he sits in the cab and falls asleep on me...the way he begs me to do stuff for him...i love watching his face light up when he's happy....well...i'd have to love him to love all those thigns right ;p lol.. so i dunno..i can't really answer that question.. sigh....

u know how i said i was letting go and stuff..and honestly i am... but i cant help missing him..and part of him just keeps wishing he would come back somehow.. and soon.... it's really weird without him... listening to his voice everynight before i sleep... cuddling up with him and watching a dvd or just to talk...talking about random rubbish with him...hearing him tell me he loves me....do fairytales really exist? or is it just part of my imagination...hahaha...i really should get rid of that hope that he'll come back soon...it's just hurting me more and more.. but yet.. it gives me a sense of security as well..i just can't explain it... sigh.... love...

-BabyGinz-