Monday, March 14, 2005

granted

have u ever been in a relationship for so long that you really wanted it to last and you really loved the guy and YOU THOUGHT the guy really loved you back...but when u juz sat and thought about it..it didn't really seem that way...like he loved you for other reasons not because you're you??

i've reached the point where i'm getting really tired of this...always taken for granted always lied to..it isn't a honest relationship...it's more like one of those.. guy takes advantage of girl relationship kind of situation now...i still believe he loves me..honestly i do.. but...every little thing he does..keeps making me think otherwise..i use to have put all 100% faith on him...but not anymore..my faith slowly deteorates...day by day..week by week...and he just doesnt give a damn?? what does he do instead?? continues lying to me..continues taking me for granted...like..nobody how fucked up he treats me..i'll never stop loving him..and i'll still always be crazy over him...and in a way he's right.. but he's forgotten..even i have my limits

i mean...yea..i am gullible and i do love him and i would do pretty much everything for him.. but doesn't he think of my side?? i am willing to do it * no..please ppl..don't think things like free sex* but i mean...i haven my limits..like...he always expects me top give him massages..and when i want one..he complains i also never give him la..he tired la..and then..another girl wants a massage n bam..there's his hand on her shoulders massaging her?? what am i?? am i really the one he loves..or am i just...this thing...where he gets stuff from??

or another thing..i want to go...sunway for example..he refuses to go..witht he excuse it's too far and he has no money..ignoring the fact that i want to go reaalllyy badly and i'm willing to pay... but once a friend ask..even if he's FLAT BROKE... woohoo..he will sooo be there..lend money or watever..NO PROBLEM.. ginny... BIG PROBLEM...bcuz being with her is a waste of money and boring..?? is that it?? is that it?? cuz if it is...i honestly don't see the point of this relationship

i used to really believed this relationship would last..i used to give him my 100% trust...i still want it to last..and he says how can it when i don't even trust him..how can i trust him?? when he lies to me 24/7?? he doesnt want this to work..does he??is he testing me??people use to say i was patient and had an amazing tolerance level...but to him..i have neither...and seriously..i am losing it...if he doesnt want it to work..why do i try so hard??? why do i even bother..i just end up hurting myself in the end...this comes with the simply answer..because i love him... but is that really it..i don't think so...because he ays he loves me..but he doesnt seem to want this relationship to last...so what is it really..??? or am i just plain stupid..like what my father said..oh yea..my dad calles me a bimbo..not using the word bimbo cuz he doesnt know it..but he terms me as a bimbo in another way..maybe he's right??? maybe i am one.. T_T

(11.33 edit : ea..i am having pms..n no... i do actually think like this..but since me having pms now..easier to express myself)

-BabyGinz-