..Click Click Click..
So i finally got around to sorta finishing my layout. still a bit buggy here and there but im not free now la! later la ;p
Oh and if my layout is wonky on your browser its probabaly because your browsers old "=_= go update it.
..The Princess..
I am the very sin of life itself, living in a world and civilization i deem unworthy of the many now ruined perfection it was blessed with. The social
anti-social i be but thats another part of me you will
eventually see or hope to see.
I suffer from a bipolar disorder and can feel extreme happiness and sadness in the most disturbing of manner. Manic depressive some often call me or "emo
girl" for short.
But who am i really?
That girl on the street you thought was hot or perhaps that girl you laughed at the day before.
What you see is your perception of me but what you know is something that even i find much a mystery.
Yes that is me in the picture and yes that is a pink cigarette i'm holding but no i'm not a smoker. But believe what you may for doubts will inevitably
be existant.
..She Supports..
..Talk..
..Credits..
I'm Ginny; girly, emotional, rough and fundamentally retarded. Oh, mustn't forget extremely lazy and amazing at procrastination as well and err...well, clumsy (don't ask). The surname's Yap and no my full name isn't really necessary in introductions. Arrogant, stubborn and well, what more might you ask?
IM AWESOME. Nuff said.
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Monday, January 30, 2006
anyways.. malaysians getting more n more kiam siap lor.. OMG.. i mean.. its bad enough they still wanna give 2 ringgit WHEN WTF CAN U BUY WITH 2 RINGGIT ... celaka ppl T_T.. BUT THEY HAVE THE NERVE TO go to ppl's hse.. collect angpaus.. AND NOT GIVE ANY ANG PAUS IN RETURN!!!!! OMFG???? WHAT IS THHEEE WOOORRLLLDD COMMINNNG TOOO *sits in corner and sulks*
i have a lot of movies to watch T_T.. but my ang pau money is not sufficient enough..... anybody wanna sponser me big big ang paus?? *big puppy dog eyes*
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Aaaanyyyywwaaayyy... after watching it.. it kinda lifted my spirits up high again and my faith in things are slowly coming back.. lol... you know how i said i'd never give up and let ian go.. well I MEAN IT... the past few weeks i though that maybe i wasn't really in love with him anymore because of the way i felt and the way i treated him recently...but today i realised that it wasn't true..
i'm still very much in love with him and i think i will b for a long long time more to come... the past week or last week for that matter we've been fighting like hell thanks to a certain "miss i'm so much mroe mature than u" *snorts...* and because we fought so much...1 day i got so frustrated and irritated i threw away approximately 4 kgs of his meat.. lol.. and he got really pissed at it... after that he's been ignoring me and telling me to fuck off and stuff like that..the usual when he's pissed and angry .. this happened on saturday ...
but despite everything..i went to his hse that very night.. and he was shocked to see me and went out clubbing.. but he asked me 2 very significant questions ..
1. why after everything.. and after what happen.. u still dare to come here wan ar?
2. actually.. why am i even keeping u here *he tucked me into bed.. searched the hse 4 story books 4 me..and told me to sleep early..told me he'd b back soon despite being supremely angry at me and also not including the fact he could easily drag me out of the hse n dump me somewhere else*
that very night he came home drunk but not entirely and told me he was sorry and that he really loved me n cared for me..but he doesnt know why he keep doing these things and failing me... and.. all i did was ignore him ... because at that time i found him really annoying.. like.. i was sleeping soundly..dreaming summoh and all of a sudden he litereally body slams me and hugs me so tightly while crying and saying those words.. and i was just as angry at him becuase he abandoned me and went clubbing T_T
after that day he continued to be angry at me..not because i ignored him...but because he was still angry about the whole meat incident...and i continued to be angry at him because he was angry at me when it was only partly my fault..i mean i did throw his meat.. BUT HELLO?? what was the cause of it?? and who provoked it..and IN FACT.. Who ENCOURAGED IT.. it hurt me that he was only angry at me...this put me in quite a mood and i made myself sick on monday just to avoid going to school..
i coughed n coughed forcefully until my coughed became real and was quite bad cuz tears were streaming down my face..so i havent been to school on monday or today for that fact..im perfectly fine..just slight coughs..but i was just too moody to go 2 school today 4 those of u who are wondering abt my sudden disappearence...
anyway back to the topic at hand... on monday all he did was yell at me when i went to see him.. it was either yell at me or completely ignore me.. i went to his hse in the morning.. i cried my eyes out due to frustration at him.. which he totally ignored and asked me to fuck off instead.. i went home shortly after knowing i would get in trouble with my parents if they found out i went out again.. but despite what happened.. i went to see him again in the afternoon... this time at his stall..he was with his friend.. so he pretty much ignored me most of the time..i didnt feel much.. i just felt numb.. because it was expected i guess...i finally got fed up of him ignoring me and went home.. and did nothing more.. i wasnt even particularly moody or anything..just slightly uncomfortable.. but not as bad as my usual break downs...
and today.. i went to see him again.. he tried pushing me away ..he tried ignoring me.. but i just kept pushing and disturbing him.. until.. i finally made him smile and laugh...and...funnily.. i wanted to cry when that happened...because he finally smiled for me..but when he noticed my expression..he immediately went back to deliberate angry mood trying to push me away and asking me to leave.. but once again i just kept pressing.. and he kept avoiding my gaze but i was happy.. because he talked to me and did his usual rounds of complains and he just kept talking and talking.. although refusing to look at me ...hahhaha..im not making much sense am i...lol..but he did try to provoke me by saying things like.. i go find other girls.. blah blah blah in this teasing manner that he usually does when he wants my attention...
den i started playing with his ears..*he loves it when i use cotton buds and clean his ears 4 him while he lies on my lap..lol..he can even fall asleep* so he asked me to get cotton buds and i did.. den i said.. u lie on my lap 1st ..which he totally refused saying its public n blah blah blah.. den i started teasing him.. and he went into his usual merajuking sulk in corner mode... until i finally said.. u give me kiss than i give u the cotton bud.. u give me hug i give u 1 cotton bud..u give me kiss then i give u 2... but he just went.. no.. dont want.. shuin! i dont want TT ... and i continue to kacau him by waving the cotton buds around... and kept pressing.. kiss me and u get ure cotton buds...
finally he said.. i kiss u later.. i asked him where.. he said in his hse.. den i said..but im going home soon.. den he said too bad..finally i said.. kiss me on my cheek... and he did.. ^-^... u cannot imagine how ecstatic i was at that moment... *am i boring u? cuz if i am..u shuld stop reading now...long way mroe to go* but i only gave him 1 cotton bud ;p and then he merajuk and said i cheated him.. hahaha.. he saw me smile and laugh at him.. and he immediately went back to his cold ignore me mode..
but me being me..i just continued disturbing him by lying on his shoulder and trying to plant kisses on him... after trying for about half an hour.. i finally got to kiss him on his lips ^-^ and he looked at me shocked for a moment then immediately looked down.. and then it was time and i had to go before i got in trouble.. i gave him another kiss and this time he didnt try to resist...and i went home.. happy..and smiling like the arse i am.. u know those huge lovey dovey smiles where u giggle to ureself for no particular reason kinda way..
later in the afternoon..i went to see him again..this time he was at home.. and he was quite shocked to see me again and told me to go home but i ignored him and sat next to him... but he kept pushing me away,, finally i sat on the floor and laid my head on his stomach...and he let me...although he was constantly mumbling abt me being irritating and stuff and how fan i was.. but he didnt push me away...
not long after he went into his room to sleep..and i followed.. and he tried pushing me out but me being the stubborn cow i am just pushed my way in and he gave in.. i hugged him while he tried to sleep and he kept pushing me away again.. but i just continued..each time hugging tighter than before until he finally caved... he even let me kiss him ^-^
blah blah blah.. soon it was time to go home because he had to go back to school for basketball and i had to go home before i was caught out.. in the car....i tried holding his hand but he kept pulling away .... then i started merajuking and trashing about the front seat of the car making those manja noises and he finally let me hold his hand.. and...i saw him smile...my heart melted and i wanted to hug him right there and then...he saw me looking at him.. and he immediately pulled his hand away and continued driving.... nothing much else happened..... but he did give me my goodbye kiss... and... again... i went home with that stupid smile plastered on my face..
thinking about what happened today... im actually crying right now.. hahaha.. and the funniest part is.. i started thinking about all this after watching gravitation...because despite what shit the both of them had to go through...one of them never gave up on the other.. and just kept pressing on eventhough his lover tried to escape because he didnt want to hurt him anymore .. and aihya.. complicated wan lar the story..but it was the determination of a cartoon character that sparked my feelings and made me want to never give up again...
soooo... IM IN LOVE WITH IAN LOW HAN YI AND I WILL NEVER GIVE UP NO MATTER WHAT!!! ^-^v! yes...he is worth that much to me.. no matter how foolish people may think of me.. or how stupid i may seem to everyone.... i will continue to fight for him.. and i will continue to be by his side even if it kills me ;p
MWHAHAHaHAH!!! i know blur la .. use webcam..lazy to take proper pic or scan.. BUT ITS A HAAGAN dAZS promotion for cardholders.. AND IT SAYS.. 8 scoops for 29.90 and 16 scoops for 58.80 .. MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!1 HAAGAN DAZS! WAIT FORRR MEEEEEE
Monday, January 23, 2006
THE RIB
A girl in love asked her boyfriend...
Girl : Tell me... whom do you love most in this world?
Boy : You, of course!
Girl : In your heart, what am I to you?
Boy : The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said,
"You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely,
during his sleep; God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve.
Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life;
you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."
After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while.
However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems... their life became mundane....
All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other...The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.
One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house...
At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted,
"Maybe,it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"
Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while...He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up. Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib,please let me go...She continued, "It is less painful this way...let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners..."
Five years went by....He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly...She had left the country and back... She had married a foreigner and divorced...He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night,he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her. One day, they finally met... At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good-byes...He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.
Boy : How are you?
Girl : I'm fine. How about you - have you found your missing rib?
Boy : No.
Girl : I'll be flying to New York on the next flight.
Boy : I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back... You know my number... Nothing has changed.With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.. Good-bye.....
One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York - in the event that shocked the world. Midnight... he lit another cigarette... And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart....He finally knew, she was the missing rib that he had carelessly discarded and thrown away ...
Sometimes, people say things in moments of fury...More often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental...We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones...And even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control.... Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives....Tomorrow may never come; give and accept what you have today.
"Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains."
Man has yesterday to thank for, today to live for, and tomorrow to strive for.
Losers have yesterday to blame, today to curse, and tomorrow to dread
but the even funnier part.. is when they choose to butt into the argument and give their own opinions.. but then again.. that's perfectly OKAY as well .. because everyone has rights and have their own opinions on certain things.. but.. what is the point of HIDING? behind an annonymous name and yet choosing to butt in? why be so afraid to reveal.
maybe if that person was just leaving 1 opinion behind.. AN OPINION ..and 1 and 1 only.. and had no intentions of adding oil to the fire.. maybe that would be okay to remain annonymous about but if that person acted like he/she KNEW EVERYTHING and continuously replied yet continued to remain annonymous.. WHY?? what is the point??
if u really KNEW EVERYTHING.... you would have heard it from both sides of the party.. not just one.. but both sides.. and not from doing things like reading blogs.. but from actually talking to both sides of the party.. then there would be no reason to hide.. because like i said.. different ppl have different opinions.. does one really think that a person would accept advice from an annonymous person who acted like he/she knew everything? or from a person that he/she knew and had actually talked to properly..?
maybe one would think that by remaining annonymous...it would protect the feelings of the one that he/she was critisizing ... but.. to me... i think that's just a stupid way of doing things.. because.. isnt that in a sense called backstabbing?? but hey.. its just my opinion...
i seem to have a new phrase that i keep saying lately... especially to those who ask me why don't i just hide my feelings n pretend that everythings okay instead of making so many enemies unnecessarily?
well.. i would rather have a 100 enemies and a close friend than a 100 friends who backstab me... because seriously.. is there really a point of trusting so many people when behind you all they do is bitch??
being with ian i learnt a lot of things.. the most important.. trust.. i learnt to be more careful with the people im with and i learnt not to trust everyone as easily as i used to.. that's why i dont have a best friend.. i have close friends and good friends.. but they aren't my best friends...and till now i will stand to the point where my best friend will b my lover... no... ian isn't my best friend... at least not at the moment he isn't because trust doesnt really exist much between us..
and people just seem to keep making that level of trust between us get worst.. lol.. i dont know why... i seriously don't....but it's his friends... so like whatever?? it's only them doing anything .. mine prefer to just watch but kid them not.. they are always by my side when i need them most and because of that.. i'll love them always~ *huggies to u guys* u know who u are
though most of them have never been in any relationships or serious relationships.. they know how much ian means to me and how much i want to be with him .. so they dont force me to go out with them when i have plans with ian.. and they dont get angry or scheme for ways to seperate us when they don't see me as much anymore..even when they ask me out they make it a point to ask me to bring ian as well despite the fact that they aren't really very happy about me and him being together on account of all the hurt this relationship has been inflicting on me...AND MOST IMPORTANTLY.. they dont USE me and STEP on me or TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME they way some of ian's friends do.... funniest part is.. ian know's this.. yet chooses to close 1 eye.. well.. because it's ian .. he's the type that talks but does nothing...lol..the total opposite of me...
they RESPECT me and they know that no matter what, i'll always be their friend and that i will always try my best to b there when they need me.
she knew abt my dragon before i said anything.... and she kept going on and on about how he was not a good person and stuff like that.. hur hur hur .. and she kept saying things like it's okay to have a 100 bf's ... but yet at the same time when she said this dragon was no good...she told me to stay strong ... ???
bleargh..i dont know wtf im typing abt .. a bit on the blur side atm
Friday, January 20, 2006
promises are sacred.. but too bad..she assumes that they are just words to make some1 shut up.. but play lar.. go ahead.. u just make me want to take my game up a notch!! XD dammit.. im so excited.. i havent played dirty in a looonnng looonnnng timmeee... hahaha....my tactics will be dirty.. but they are 100% TRUE AND REAL... every word that comes out of my mouth like how ian refers to her as a useless cheap bitch who only knows how to use people is also true.. notice.. ian is highly attracted to cheap girls ... don't get me wrong ... he didn't like me 1st.. i was never on his mind.. i fell 4 him and told him which he just accepted.. because.. IAN MAR ...
he always aims to go for the cheap girls... this past few years i mean.. past 2-3 years... older girlfriends.. he that time still got brains... too bad he doesn't know what's in front of him... and once again people..i WILL REPEAT.. IAN AND LIE PEH NEARLY KISSED ON AARON's BIRTHDAY 2006 AT ATMOSPHERE BUT WAS TOO AFRAID.. WANTED BUT WAS AFRAID TOO!!
ALSO.. MY DEAR READERS.. READ BELOW AND NOTICE HENG LIE PEH ..no wait..im sorry it was on the phone.. SHE PROMISED TO STAY AWAY FROM IAN LOW .. AND ALSO MY DEAR READERS.. LAST SUNDAY.. IAN CALLED LIE PEH AND TOLD HER TO FUCK OFF BECAUSE SHE WAS CAUSING HIM A LOT OF PROBLEMS... but my oh my.. the lil snakkkkeee.. strats sucking up to him now XD.. hahaha..
so let the games begin.. ian will always FALL 4 the girl that manja him ... the girl that flirts with him constantly...i said fall..i didn't say love .. read my words carefully people.. so let's see how far she can go.. and how FAR I WILL GO TO NICELY.. DESTROY HER ... >=D
IM ONE HELL OF AN EVIL BITCH AINT IT? lol .. and hell.. I'm loving it!!!
The epic of Queen Bitch VS CHEAP QUEEN BITCH ...
let the games begin XD
i can be a good friend.. but cross me over... and you'll never see the end of it =) oh no..backstabbing doesnt really count..cuz i cant really be bothered with backstabbing.. INTERFERE WITH MY LIFE... MESS WITH ME... and you meet me... 100% EVIL BITCHY GINNY... >=) have fun .. i know i will...
" on another note... hehhe.. this blog got what my other blog doesnt starting from here...
well.. let's see..im actually quite bored of ian and his infedelity... and i was actually thinking of slowly letting go.. but lil miss snake bitch here.. has irritated me.. AND NOW.. both her and LIE PEH will pay.. hahahha... my patience has run out.. and im not going to give either one of them face annnyyymoooreee.. so ian wanna play.. OKAY LA.. ahhaha.. ian low is stuck with me.. FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE =) and those that disturb it..and even the slightest bit annoy me... i will go ALL OUT... to hurt them in multiply ways.. =) oh no..not physically.. mentally is the worst pain there is... XD
dear readers..as you can see from my very revengeful post..i am very obviously pissed off..and very obviously mean... but yea...i want to do this... no matter how stupid and dumb it is.... i dont really mind....becuase IT IS MY DECISION.. ^-^
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
probably because you don't want everyone to
know you have one, only your special love
bird... or as many people get into your
pants... haha.
what type of tattoo are you? WITH PICTURES.
brought to you by Quizilla
dont really know what too blog about.. dont particularly have that blogging mood... school's tiring u_u ...will update when i have something to update about ;p ekkeke
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
(11.42 p.m. edit .... I AM STILL FUCKING PISSED..I SHOULD BLOODY B ASLEEP NOW.. BUT NOOOOOOOOO.. HERE I AM.. ALL MOODY AND IRRITATED.. FUCK SHIT..i might just ponteng school morrow....
its been nearly 2 weeks...since i finally got my baby ian back to his usual self.. loving n caring ... T_T... BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... THANKS TO DAGING SALAI STALL AND HIS DEAR FRIENDS.. WE FOUGHT LIKE FUCK TODAY
I LITERALLY WANTED TO START TRASHING MY HSE like how he reacts when he's angry.. bloody fuck shit... NOW I REMMEBER WHY I DONT HAVE BEST FRIENDS AND WHY IM SO FLEXIBLE WITHIN FRIENDSHIP.. ITS BECAUSE U NEVER BLOODY KNOW WHO TO REALLY TRUST AND BELIEVE.................
FROM NOW ONWARDS.. I WILL B 100% BITCH TO EVERY FUCKING ONE OF IANS FRIENDS... BECAUSE THEY ARE SUCH DICKHEADS THEMSELVES!!! blardy 2 faces rats .. FUNNY THING IS..not only 2 face to me.. but 2 faced to ian as well.. LOL.. IRONIC ISNT IT?? *smirks*
of course we all now know.. why sri garden has suck a fucked up name.. every school u go..u say ure from sri garden..and everyone goes.. thats a fucked up school la wei..the ppl there damn fucked up wan.. of course la.. with ppl like ian n frens... HOW COULD IT NOT B FUCKED UP??
i may regret this post.. but seriously.. atm..I DONT THINK I WILL)
but im also exepctionally cranky now due to ian.. AS ALWAYS...ARGHH!!! GOD!! HE IS SO DENSE SOMETIMES!! bleaargrghhhhh...!!! all his damn liesssssss annddd empty prroomiiisessss just never stoppppss~~~!!! FUKKITY FUCK.... and at this very moment i have a really bad feeling about some stuff.... RELATED TO HIM and his FA SAM NESS and his CRAP CONSCIENCE of NEVER FEELING GUILTY ABOUT LYING OR CHEATING ON ME... OR MAKING ME CRY................................................... DAMMIIIIIIITT!!! I WANT TO BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL!!! BLEAGRHGHGYUDSGRYFTG @&*$^*Q&$^*&#$ %#
Monday, January 09, 2006
siiiighhhhhh... i wannaaa see iiiaaannnn butt im beinngg negllleeccteddd all because of that stupid daging salai stall!! DAMN LAME LOR.. got 4 partners.. but onli like ian doing MOST of the things.. then money also the rest supply..but all supply different amounts wan.. totally UNEVEN WAN the money and job distribution.. but fuck is.. everyone gets equal share?? SO UNORGANISED!! I HATE IIITTT!! bleahhhh... and i get neglected oso all because of the crappy other partners who dont make effort to do anything T_T.... SIGHHHYYY!!! IM GONNA GO BUAT KACAU AT THE STALL JOR!! CIS... T_T....
i feel so angsty.... bleep.... SHOO SHOO angsty mood.. T_T... I DONT LIKE THIS FEELING!!! angry..lonely..moody..tired...irritated... *bites everyone*
aihhhh... i feel like going shopping.... NO MONEY!!!! DAMMIT..!!HOW CAN WANNNNNNN... YORHHH!! BY THIS TIME I SHOULD HAVE STARTED MY NEW YR"s SHOPPING ALREADY!1 WHY LIKE THAT WAN!!!!! *runs around screaming*
Saturday, January 07, 2006
should i get the
limited edition PINK razor
the soon to come V3x (bugs from previous razor fixed)
nokia 6111 IN PINK (coming soon)
OR
samsung sgh-e530c
RUNS AROUND SCREAMING IN AGONY.... HAVE TO MAKE DECISION... III HATTEE CHANNGINNGG PHONNENSSSS *screams*
Friday, January 06, 2006
What Actually Love Is
Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful things in the world are unseen.
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.There are things that we never want to let go of,people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world,it's the beginning of a new life. (letting go here doesn't necessarily mean letting go of the one you love, they can be friends and may even be family)
Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt,those who have searched and those who have tried.For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.
A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for him,it's when he ignores you and still you long for him.It's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you.
If love fails, set yourself free,let your heart spread its wings and fly again.Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies,you never have to die with it.The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall.Somehow along the course of life,you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets,only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.
A true friend understands when you say, I forgot,waits forever when you say, just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone,opens the door even before you knock and says can I come in?
Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand,not what you see but how you feel,and not how you let go but how you hold on.
It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly.Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.
In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose,you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself.
There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we let go.It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available.Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.
Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most,and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.
If you really love someone never let go,don't believe that letting go means that you love best,instead fight for your love,that's what true love is.
as usual.. im not much affected by most things.. but as u all know... the whole ian factor slaps me around alot.. and this dream happens to be abt him...abt his infedelity and lies..and yet here i remain.. still completely loyal to him... with the occasional white lie here and there...insecure all the time..yet..continuously loyal...continuously supplying love and care knowing..i'll probably never get it back...and that i was just a toy being used....
i seriously want to get back to sleep..my eyes seriously hurt.. but i just want to sit here and cry...i keep loking at my phone..willing 4 it to ring.. 4 him to sense that i was sad ..to call and comfort me...or to maybe even come on9...willing...yet knowing its just not gonna happen....
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
school..basically... sucks?? lol..dunno .. happy..yet not happy.. am muchh depressed.. i have to go home later than usual... WHY.. because ahhh..they decided ahhh..to make mandarin compulsory..den extra est classes.... HAIH........go home at 4.15.. U KNOW WHAT TORTURE THAT IS for ME???? DO U KNOW??? HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME to NOT EAT and SLEEP 4 such a long span of time??? DO U KNOW THE PURE AGONY I HAVE TO GO THROUGH.... *sits in corner and sulks*
speaking of agony.. im so screwed morrow.. huahauhauhaua..i 4got my sej book.. so how do u cram 30 pages of sej in 5 mins XD.. whahahaa.....i hateeeeee mr rama's quiz time.. SIGH..owiz me standing up wan.. DAMN SAD i tell u....
im so high now.. yet sleepy at the same time.. wahahhahahaa.. fuck..im screwed morrow.. sleep sleep..sleep in class.. SIGH...