..Click Click Click..
So i finally got around to sorta finishing my layout. still a bit buggy here and there but im not free now la! later la ;p
Oh and if my layout is wonky on your browser its probabaly because your browsers old "=_= go update it.
..The Princess..
I am the very sin of life itself, living in a world and civilization i deem unworthy of the many now ruined perfection it was blessed with. The social
anti-social i be but thats another part of me you will
eventually see or hope to see.
I suffer from a bipolar disorder and can feel extreme happiness and sadness in the most disturbing of manner. Manic depressive some often call me or "emo
girl" for short.
But who am i really?
That girl on the street you thought was hot or perhaps that girl you laughed at the day before.
What you see is your perception of me but what you know is something that even i find much a mystery.
Yes that is me in the picture and yes that is a pink cigarette i'm holding but no i'm not a smoker. But believe what you may for doubts will inevitably
be existant.
..She Supports..
..Talk..
..Credits..
I'm Ginny; girly, emotional, rough and fundamentally retarded. Oh, mustn't forget extremely lazy and amazing at procrastination as well and err...well, clumsy (don't ask). The surname's Yap and no my full name isn't really necessary in introductions. Arrogant, stubborn and well, what more might you ask?
IM AWESOME. Nuff said.
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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
i love this..yet it hurts me so..
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
most succesful relationships start from a close friendship becausse the trust already exists between both parties.. the closer the 2 so called *best friends* get.... it would feel like someone is there giving you everything you need..just like a partner..a bf/gf partner... if u were to have a bf/gf.. wouldnt u want that perfect relationship where trust existed and you could just talk to each other about EVERYTHING? being comfortable with each other??
most relationships involve both parties just being physically attracted to each other..but in truth..once put together..they r neither comfortable with each other nor do they interact much with each other..so the only possible way is..if the couple started as good friends wouldnt it?? i mean..honestly..i do sincerely believe in love at first sight..but once that happens.. can u deny the fact that in that happy relationship between 2 ppl.. arent they exactly like best friends with each other??
like normal people..when you're atracted to someone..u dont exactly fall right in love.. it starts out with LIKE...and from that like..the 2 ppl get together and their companionship brings them closer to each other.. where they are open about each other and comforting each other about problems EXACTLY like that of a BEST FRIEND... this in the end results in a more serious relationship where like eventually turns into love
people would reading this now will go.. AIHYA!!where got..im in a platonic relationship whatt.. but if u look closely.. CLOSE FRIENDS in GROUPS and BEST FRIENDS are 2 very different things..and one might thing that the relationship was pure friendship..but would u really ever know what the onther person might be thinking? what if they liked you, but they just chose to pretend like nothing just so they could STAY with you and not ruin what was already there and risking never even talking again.... DID THAT EVER OCCUR TO YOU * if u r sneering at my post this momemnt u_u* a best friend relationship can only ever exist between 2 sides... unless of course you're all straight guys and straight girls who wont get emotionally attached to each other in a bf/gf sense lar.. DO'H!!
so is it really wrong.. 4 a person who's attached to feel insecure about their partner having a so called platonic relationship with someone else? friendship is the base of every relationship.. if they were not friends before..there is no possible way they could ever be lovers.. a best friend of the opposite sex or in some cases same sex filling ure emotional needs and you being absolutely comfortable with him/her ... wouldnt this in the end grow to something more?? because the care and trust has grown so deep in that in some cases... the best friends are even the cause of the other persons many break ups? wouldnt that mean the bond of the friendship is so strong that nothing can come in between...so what about a lover? but in this point..even the lover cannot break through that friendship..so... WHAT DOES THIS POSSIBLY PROVE?
me myself do not believe in even normal best friends..i only believe in close friends..i really dont think best friends really exist or will really last forever..but i do believe in close friends.. thats why i always believe..my best friend will b my partner in life.. who in my mind..is my lover, my companion and well, like i said..my best friend =)
*ps..i would like to point out..when i say platonic relationships..i meant in a best friend basis not a normal friend basis..of course its possible for a guy and girl to be normal friends... BUT NOT BEST FRIENDS...and i stand firm on this*
oh..found this online.. just felt like posting it..cuz their thoughts r like mine
I Used To Believe in Platonic Friendships
I once believed that there was such as thing as a strictly platonic opposite sex friendship. In fact, I have been involved in several over the years that I convinced myself were "safe" because they were platonic. But I was proven wrong every time. I have come to realize that it is extremely difficult to maintain a truly platonic opposite sex friendship over time, especially for women.
Women Get Attached Easily
It is relatively easy for a guy to be friends with a girl without a deep emotional attachment, but women tend to get attached very easily, especially if their emotional needs are being met. If it is a good solid friendship, then obviously the man will meet some of those needs and emotions will inevitably be involved. In just about every "platonic" friendship I have been in, "friendship" feelings gradually migrated into romantic feelings over time (not necessarily on my side).
The Line Is Too Fine
As a friendship grows and deepens, how can you not develop more intense loyalty, admiration, and attachment toward the other person? With a member of the opposite sex, the line between friendly and romantic feelings is too fine to not cross over, so it usually does. In fact, most really solid healthy relationships start out as a friendship.
Inappropriate for Married People
That is why it is commonly considered inappropriate for married people to maintain exclusive "platonic" relationships with members of the opposite sex. It is too dangerous. The attachment and feelings that evolve out of a good friendship almost always lead to a deeper emotional bond with the other person that is not easily broken. Our feelings can sometimes also trick us, making us think that true love is there, when in fact it is nothing more than infatuation or admiration that we are feeling.
Platonic Friendship Will Lead to Romantic Feelings
So if I had to pick a side, I would say that a platonic friendship will eventually lead to romantic feelings, at least for one person involved (regardless of whether either person is already in a relationship).
OH!! BUT TODAY MUST B PROUD OF ME!! i oNLY USED abt 30 RINGGIT IN MID VALLEY!! 25 = taxi ... 10=mocha ....hahaha..my movie n fried chicken sponsered by ken chong n keegan XD .. tahhhaaaankkkk uuuu
i guess ive lost my spark....that energy to just fight and push and thrive for what i really want... my patience can no longer hold it..and neither can my brains nor my heart......
i want...i want to run away.. run away from everyone ... on an island...... with nothing... but him.....but...thats like a dream..not even a dream anymore.. it's more like a wish that will never come true....to be left alone with the one i love....... im a pure romantic at heart... and i do wish things like this happened..childish..immature..naive....thats me...
ppl might say what about other ppl...u never think of them wan meh.... but if i was left alone on that island with him..i would b happy.. honest i would.. then...if i was happy... wouldnt they b happy? and this u might wonder..what abt u? wouldnt he b happy if i let him do whateever..let him go..let him live his life in peace? im young..imature..im spoiled.. and..im selfish..
i want him to be mine..and mine only.....greedy..dumb......and a wish never to b fulfilled.......
anyway... oso do this
Saturday, November 26, 2005
????? *&^@&^#^@# GOD DAMN IT...
Friday, November 25, 2005
its funny...im sad....and i show it..i choose not to be happy... and truth be.. i dont want to be... im hurting inside..so why act all happy outside... i dont want to be that fake person... but yet..he seems genuinely fine...and yet claims he isnt... so what is it? crapppsss
theee lonneelly depression is slowly eliminating my brain cells one by one....... *bangs head on keyboard*
| You Are Balanced - Believer - Empowered |
| You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow. You are a true believer in luck, fate, and karma.You believe that life is a game of chance - not a game of skill.You either consider yourself very unlucky or very lucky.No matter what, you don't feel like you can change the hand you were dealt. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order.You realize that working the system does get you further.You know who to defer to and who to control.When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly. |
The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test
| Your Kissing Purity Score: 43% Pure |
 But word is, you kiss pretty well. |
Kissing Purity Test
| You Are Mud Pie |
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What Kind of Pie Are You?
| How You Are In Love |
 You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
How Are You In Love?
| Your Hidden Talent |
 |
You Are a Lace Bra!Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminineYou're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like menYour perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsomeWith a softer side that only you can draw outWhat Kind of Bra Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |  |
LUH HUR LUH HUR LUH HUR..........but after seeing that sweet gynea lady in gleneagles.. =) i kinda wanna b one in the future... HUHUHUHU.. but aihya.... i say onli wan..see how far i go lar.. KAKKAKAKAa
havent been updating lately i know yes.. life has been very draggy and lonely T_T....sigh.. i miss him..i really really do.. =S... i need haagan dazs or ben and jerry's T_T.. DAMMIT...
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
i didnt even noe the fucking add of her blog but apparetnly i did something to her blog den she explodes..explodes..ian gets pissed bcuz OF COURSE WAD
HE SAID HE WILL B WITH HER FOREVER WHAT!!! N HES PROUD HE CHOSE HER OVER ME WHAT!!!
helloooooo..u fucking think of all the things u've ever done to me lar.. why i control u.. fucker.. why u got so many ex..all oso kenot maintain?? BECASUE ALL URE GF's GOT PROBLEM IZZIT......aihya.......means u r the best lor... u got ever think of ure gf's b4 annot?? STUPID...1st time u meet my sis oso i let her ask..why rue bf so flirt wan......... HAHAHAHA..................
Monday, November 21, 2005
Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education:You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
quiz is found here..give it a shot =)
other quizzes...found at same webbie
The Real You
Here is the analysis:
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.
Y
ou are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.
What's your personality love style?
Here is the analysis:You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.
Personality
Kind and GentleYour kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.
Swimsuits reflect your personality
Here is the analysis:You are generous person and are open to new ideas. You enjoy tasks that challenge you, while others may see your acceptance of such tasks as a risky and even brave thing to do. You don't hold any secrets and speak your mind directly. You have a rather naughty approach towards the opposite sex, and your tendency to flirt can sometimes get you into trouble.
i cant stop controlling him..because..i cannot deny the fact.. he destroyed my trust less than 3 months into the relationship and has barely even tried to mend it.....i cannot deny the fact that i feel insecure in this relationship..and that is why i control him..so many of u ask why.... u think i think its because i want him to b good.. no....its 4 my own selfish reasons.....I FULLY ADMIT IT...my selfishness of wanting to feel secure and safe......
so i guess its the end =) it's been a magical 1 yr and 5 months ...a new month is coming soon and soon a new year.. time to move on i guess
I KNOW I KNOW..u've all heard this a million times.....and i've never really gone through with it..and i ADMIT..i do not give u any confirmation that this is the final time im gonna say this either ;p cuz hey...u never know what might happen *shrugs*
Sunday, November 20, 2005
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you
I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
Tonight it's very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I will never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget,
say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone
'Coz I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
Gonna live forever knowing togethe
rThat we did it all for the glory of love
You keep me standing tall
You'll help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone
'Coz I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
Gonna live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
Just like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I'll save the day
Take you to my castle far away
I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
Gonna live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love [x3]
this particular msg is kept in a special folder in my hp..and it means a lot to me.. even though it doesnt seem to be the truth... just wanted to share it...
*i rather have hard times together than being happy apart. i'd rather have bad times together than having a good one with others.i love u alot!*
this was sent when i was in shanghai because i felt insecure.............................. but they r just words...... with no meaning... just something i want to believe.....like a dream =')
Saturday, November 19, 2005
[01:15:02 PM] .: miss bell: woops
[01:15:02 PM] .: miss bell: i going out tim..
[01:15:03 PM] .: miss bell :. *all my heart is broken like a stone* just sent you a Nudge!
[01:15:07 PM] .: miss bell: bye bye
[01:15:48 PM] bloopszy! * : go out where?
[01:19:33 PM] .: miss bell: pyramid
[01:19:40 PM] bloopszy! * : wah
[01:19:42 PM] bloopszy! * : with who oh..
[01:19:45 PM] bloopszy! * : i want to go !!
[01:19:52 PM] .: miss bell: mom and dad
[01:19:52 PM] .: miss bell: want ar?
[01:20:07 PM] bloopszy! * : hahaha
[01:20:26 PM] bloopszy! * : say until like that.
[01:20:29 PM] bloopszy! * : nvm lu..
[01:20:29 PM] bloopszy! * : =(
[01:20:40 PM] .: miss bell: no
[01:20:45 PM] .: miss bell: i serious de
[01:21:11 PM] bloopszy! * : nole its okie..
[01:21:13 PM] bloopszy! * : kam kai
[01:23:41 PM] .: miss bell: ><"
[01:26:24 PM] bloopszy! * : =)
[01:26:47 PM] .: miss bell: i change 1st
[01:27:03 PM] bloopszy! * : hmmm..
[01:27:07 PM] bloopszy! * : on webcam la!
[01:27:09 PM] bloopszy! * : hohohoho!
[01:27:32 PM] .: miss bell: chiseen no way
[01:27:40 PM] bloopszy! * : ahahhaha
[01:27:42 PM] bloopszy! * : can la..
[01:27:44 PM] bloopszy! * : friend mah!
[01:29:15 PM] .: miss bell: NO way
[01:29:20 PM] bloopszy! * : why?
[01:29:24 PM] bloopszy! * : arent we friends?
[01:29:25 PM] .: miss bell: coz loh
[01:29:28 PM] .: miss bell: yea
[01:29:48 PM] bloopszy! * : then??
[01:30:39 PM] .: miss bell: thn NO way lor still
[01:31:08 PM] bloopszy! * : ish!
[01:31:14 PM] bloopszy! * : kononnya friend. .
[01:31:24 PM] bloopszy! * : little bit thing also cannot sacrifice..
[01:31:35 PM] .: miss bell: SIK SI lar
[01:31:36 PM] bloopszy! * : =( .. sad betul
[01:32:05 PM] .: miss bell: hahahaha
[01:32:13 PM] .: miss bell: u sacrifice giny for me
[01:32:14 PM] .: miss bell: pls
[01:32:31 PM] bloopszy! * : i sacrifice ginny for you?
[01:32:41 PM] bloopszy! * : okie le then..
[01:33:29 PM] .: miss bell: hahhaa listen 1st
[01:33:34 PM] bloopszy! * : hahaha
[01:33:49 PM] bloopszy! * : nola..that time you told me you dont want me no matter what jor..
[01:34:15 PM] bloopszy! * : so if i sacrifice ginny jor then i only have my house the leafless tree to hug only.. (notice he said the nola ..that time..yahde yahde yahde part)
[01:35:41 PM] .: miss bell: hahaha is fruitless but with leaf
[01:35:44 PM] .: miss bell: DIU YAN abvit
[01:36:25 PM] bloopszy! * : fruitless with leaf..
[01:36:38 PM] bloopszy! * : the tree outside my house can never have fruits..
[01:36:56 PM] bloopszy! * : hahahha...=)
[01:39:00 PM] .: miss bell: ><"""
[01:39:05 PM] .: miss bell: LOL
[01:39:28 PM] bloopszy! * : you want me to be hugging the tree meh?
[01:41:15 PM] .: miss bell: can also de
[01:41:22 PM] bloopszy! * : you see..
[01:41:35 PM] bloopszy! * : somemore say sacrifice pulak..
[01:41:45 PM] bloopszy! * : means im sacrificing for the tree outside of my house.
[01:41:49 PM] bloopszy! * : =(.
[01:43:37 PM] * bloopszy! * GiN * has changed his/her personal message to thank you!.
[01:44:13 PM] .: miss bell: haha no need lar
[01:44:18 PM] .: miss bell: too bad i finish changing edi
[01:44:28 PM] bloopszy! * : iish..
[01:44:52 PM] bloopszy! * : there always another chance for a rechange..
[01:46:30 PM] .: miss bell: hmm maybe next time
[01:46:31 PM] .: miss bell: lah..
[01:46:32 PM] .: miss bell: hahhaha
[01:46:41 PM] .: miss bell: i am done and satisfied with my current outfit
[01:46:42 PM] .: miss bell: :P
[01:46:49 PM] bloopszy! * : aiyohz..
[01:46:55 PM] bloopszy! * : okie..nice one!
[01:47:03 PM] bloopszy! * : without seeing you in camera. .
[01:47:16 PM] bloopszy! * : i already can imagine how beautiful you are looking already..( just so u darling ppl know..ian has never said such things to me in my life.. unless im merajuking)
[01:47:24 PM] .: miss bell: wah
[01:47:25 PM] bloopszy! * : nyum nyummm...=P (hello?? im still his gf??)
[01:47:27 PM] .: miss bell: lagi nice one
[01:47:33 PM] .: miss bell: =.=
[01:47:48 PM] bloopszy! * : what eh?.
[01:48:01 PM] .: miss bell: =P
[01:48:03 PM] bloopszy! * : hahhaa
[01:48:12 PM] .: miss bell: = P
[01:48:15 PM] .: miss bell: ei
[01:48:17 PM] .: miss bell: cant geh. (in case ure wondering..i concluded she was trying to on the webcam)
[01:48:23 PM] .: miss bell: bleak
[01:48:31 PM] bloopszy! * : yer!
[01:48:34 PM] bloopszy! * : sai mm sai oh?
[01:48:49 PM] bloopszy! * : lick until *jun jun yau mei* (im still wondering..honestly)
[01:49:24 PM] .: miss bell: hahaha yeah wor
[01:49:27 PM] .: miss bell: super fast that one summore
[01:50:11 PM] bloopszy! * : why dont get a bf that is rich like me 1..
[01:50:24 PM] bloopszy! * : then you dont need worry about dim sum jor..
[01:50:38 PM] .: miss bell: ><"
[01:50:43 PM] bloopszy! * : then you can lick all you want..
[01:50:43 PM] .: miss bell: nvm i can afford dim sum...
[01:50:44 PM] bloopszy! * : hohhoho!
[01:50:48 PM] .: miss bell: no thanks
[01:51:54 PM] bloopszy! * : and remember.
[01:52:00 PM] bloopszy! * : i didnt ask you to lick me..
[01:52:10 PM] bloopszy! * : i was refering to the dim sumz..
[01:53:03 PM] .: miss bell: iknow
[01:53:08 PM] .: miss bell: i not thta dirty minded 1
[01:53:24 PM] bloopszy! * : well i dont know how dirty you are rite?
[01:53:42 PM] bloopszy! * : unless you want me to assume your horniness level.. (hellloooo?? u dont just talk to girls abt this unless they r ure fucking gfs.. HELLOO?? DO U KNWO THE MEANING OF HORNYENESS??)
[01:53:52 PM] bloopszy! * : i would rate you a 7/10
[02:02:37 PM] bloopszy! * : what time you goin pyramid?
[02:03:21 PM] .: miss bell :. *all my heart is broken like a stone*just sent you a Nudge!
[02:03:23 PM] .: miss bell: soon (notice she said she had to go VERY EARLY on in this convo and notice how long more it drags)
[02:03:41 PM] bloopszy! * : yerrr!!
[02:03:47 PM] bloopszy! * : i damn fucking sien at home man!
[02:03:48 PM] bloopszy! * : mahaiiii!
[02:04:00 PM] .: miss bell: sstudy lar
[02:04:39 PM] bloopszy! * : i come your house study la.. (alone? no big deal.. but continue)
[02:04:45 PM] bloopszy! * : okie..dont go shopping jor..
[02:04:49 PM] bloopszy! * : studyy la!~
[02:06:19 PM] .: miss bell: momom
[02:06:27 PM] .: miss bell: hnonon
[02:06:37 PM] bloopszy! * : then nvm lo..
[02:06:45 PM] bloopszy! * : you enjoy shopping without me la ha (this does not sound flirtish ??? of course not..its typical ian..cuz he talks to me like how he talks to every other girl.. flirtingly..but of course..he onli calls me bitch and onli fucks me n says hurtful things and talks to me like he doesnt give a fuck compared to others)
[02:06:54 PM] .: miss bell: hahha
[02:07:01 PM] .: miss bell: wanna make me fel guilty?
[02:07:05 PM] bloopszy! * : nola..
[02:07:09 PM] bloopszy! * : i know you wont 1..
[02:07:18 PM] bloopszy! * : you never have feelings towards me 1..
[02:07:23 PM] bloopszy! * : i know 1 geh..
[02:07:26 PM] .: miss bell: hmmm
[02:07:38 PM] .: miss bell: since u said like this
[02:07:39 PM] .: miss bell: nvm ( well well.... if there was nothing..wouldnt she say something like... no lar.. wheere got... seems like a hidden meaning dontcha think? girls usually can see it..not guys)
[02:07:50 PM] .: miss bell: i asume u are hinting that u dont want me to care abt u lah..
[02:08:03 PM] bloopszy! * : nola..
[02:08:21 PM] bloopszy! * : ofcorz i want you to care about me la..
[02:08:27 PM] bloopszy! * : how can you not care about me?
[02:08:35 PM] bloopszy! * : its your responsibility (oh...why is it her responsibility? he always tells me.. ure responsibility as my gf is just to care and love me..THATS ALL...care...?)
[02:08:46 PM] .: miss bell: ><"
[02:08:47 PM] .: miss bell: wah
[02:09:40 PM] bloopszy! * : tell you something..
[02:10:16 PM] .: miss bell: ?
[02:10:16 PM] bloopszy! * : there was one point when ginny was always bothering me about the relationship of me and you rite..
[02:10:27 PM] .: miss bell: ya
[02:11:04 PM] bloopszy! * : i actually thought of going after you at that pooint 1 lo. (0_o? INTERESTING)
[02:11:14 PM] .: miss bell: ?
[02:11:16 PM] .: miss bell: meaing>
[02:11:20 PM] bloopszy! * : i wanted to make myself like you like how other ppl say i do.. (i see...its not just me... BUT OTHER PPL THINK SO TOOOOOOOOO...BIG SURPRISE THERE)
[02:11:25 PM] bloopszy! * : i told mel about thiz too..
[02:11:51 PM] bloopszy! * : like alot ppl say..
[02:12:10 PM] bloopszy! * : *wah..ian why you treat peh extra different 1 ah?*
[02:12:26 PM] bloopszy! * : thiz made me wonder actually..
[02:12:38 PM] bloopszy! * : i dont feel it myself 1 lo..
[02:13:00 PM] bloopszy! * : but seen by lotz of ppl..so it made me to a dilemma to go for it or not.. (this clearly proves my point on how he believes others... DO U PPL EFFING BELIEVE ME NOW???)
[02:13:24 PM] bloopszy! * : but ohwell i didnt want to cause so much problem in the friends circle anymmore.
[02:13:38 PM] bloopszy! * : so i decided not to do what i intended to.. (so this was the real reason..not bcuz he loved me..but bcuz of his lil so called elite group of friends =) )
[02:13:48 PM] bloopszy! * : *the end*
[02:14:54 PM] .: miss bell: ...
[02:14:54 PM] .: miss bell: we'll see in the future..
[02:15:02 PM] .: miss bell: i can gurantee
[02:15:06 PM] .: miss bell: after your co like (i dont get this part..some1 tell me pls)
[02:15:11 PM] .: miss bell: u will eventualy forgert abt ginny
[02:15:21 PM] .: miss bell: but thats if she din do those SIU DONG JOK lar.. ( IC IC... apparently that 2 months when i was happy doing my own things without him...i actually making him wan orhhh.. ICIC..)
[02:15:55 PM] bloopszy! * : hmmm...
[02:16:51 PM] bloopszy! * : well i dont know..i seriously had a weird impression that maybe your the better person.. ( soooooo...iiiiicccccccccccc....is that why he thinks of her as ***** n a ***** who uses ppl???)
[02:17:01 PM] bloopszy! * : but i another point of view..
[02:17:16 PM] bloopszy! * : we just had too much thingz in common..
[02:17:18 PM] bloopszy! * : oh well ( if u look closely...they r very different..OBSERVE n c)
[02:17:34 PM] .: miss bell: true
[02:17:37 PM] .: miss bell: i felt that toop
[02:18:04 PM] .: miss bell: maybe those common tings is because we known each other for so long
[02:18:06 PM] .: miss bell: many years ( well..im glad she notice that...its not bcuz they r similar..but bcuz they've known each other so long)
[02:18:15 PM] bloopszy! * : but you know what ppls say..
[02:18:33 PM] .: miss bell: ?
[02:18:36 PM] * .: miss bell :. *all my heart is broken like a stone* has changed his/her personal message to Sacrifice
[02:18:43 PM] bloopszy! * : opposite characteristics dont actuallywork well with couples
[02:19:04 PM] .: miss bell: hmm true
[02:19:08 PM] bloopszy! * : and uncle of mine told me that..
[02:19:17 PM] .: miss bell: thn?
[02:19:20 PM] bloopszy! * : normally ppl say opposite atracts..
[02:19:42 PM] bloopszy! * : but sometimes we must know it only works for magnet..
[02:19:55 PM] bloopszy! * : and we're not magnets HELLOOO!
[02:20:39 PM] bloopszy! * : so couples should sorta have close characteristics to atract actually. ( r u implying something? *raise eyebrow..so..it means... u r not attracted to me?? or thers actually nothing between us?? *higher raised eyebrow*)
[02:21:26 PM] bloopszy! * : and dont get my implication wrong..im notsaying we boths are highly atracted to each other.. (not hightly..but apparently are??? because they r both OH SOO SIMILARRR???? OH MY)
[02:21:40 PM] .: miss bell: haha ok ok
[02:21:44 PM] bloopszy! * : maybe we are..but just lost somewhere in space.. ( so u do believe that there is a possibility there may be something between both of u?? *smirks*)
[02:21:47 PM] .: miss bell: i understand and i get what are u saying
[02:22:03 PM] bloopszy! * : but the next gf i get..
[02:22:15 PM] .: miss bell: yar?
[02:22:19 PM] bloopszy! * : it must be a similar thing to me.
[02:22:25 PM] .: miss bell: true
[02:22:32 PM] .: miss bell: thn u must find someone similiar iek m too ( havent break up?? oredi got next gf? summoh talk to me abt kids n stuff..usually the girl say wan..but he is the 1 who keep bringing up things like kids and honeymoons n blah blah blah.. n also.. U MUST FIND SOME1 SIMILAR to ME too..aihyo.. U LAR.. TALK SO MUCH 4 wad...)
[02:22:41 PM] .: miss bell: u know
[02:22:42 PM] bloopszy! * : i wont get someone so so opposite of me..
[02:22:44 PM] .: miss bell: some times i think that
[02:23:25 PM] bloopszy! * : you sometimes think that i should always find someone like you?.
[02:23:36 PM] bloopszy! * : of well how i wished i had a lie peh2 (she thinks u should find some1 like her...that is succhh a nice hint...and u want a lie peh 2? why la..got lie peh 1 wad..scared wad ppl say meh..cuz owiz say u 2 best frens nothing happen..scared other ppl suddenly say things izzit...??? IZZIT? oso couple b4 wad..kenot couple again meh??? why must find some1 like her??? very special ahhhhhhhh??)
[02:23:37 PM] bloopszy! * : ahaha
[02:24:13 PM] .: miss bell: no such person/.
[02:24:21 PM] .: miss bell: i tink that i am different from the others
[02:24:29 PM] .: miss bell: esp the way i u know?
[02:24:31 PM] .: miss bell: the way i act
[02:24:38 PM] .: miss bell: the way i ...
[02:25:14 PM] bloopszy! * : hahaha..
[02:25:28 PM] * .: miss bell :. *all my heart is broken like a stone* has removed his/her personal message
[02:25:36 PM] bloopszy! * : but if i was to couple with you not nice to play jor..
[02:25:37 PM] * .: miss bell :. *all my heart is broken like a stone* has changed his/her personal message to shes freaking me OUT...
[02:25:40 PM] bloopszy! * : you know all my bad thingz..
[02:25:44 PM] bloopszy! * : cannot lie..=)
[02:25:46 PM] .: miss bell: whhwhwhahahaha yeah]
[02:25:54 PM] .: miss bell: can see throguh u so easily
[02:26:28 PM] bloopszy! * : wow..see through me somemore..
[02:26:40 PM] bloopszy! * : i better wear more cloths the next time i see you..
[02:27:46 PM] .: miss bell: hahah yeah THICK 1
[02:27:57 PM] .: miss bell: if npot i wil pinch your mipple until it went blood clog
[02:28:21 PM] bloopszy! * : omg!.
[02:28:25 PM] bloopszy! * : how evil can you get?
[02:28:54 PM] bloopszy! * : anyway goin to mamak..
[02:28:58 PM] bloopszy! * : nice coupling with you here ( he apparently has cyber gfs i see)
[02:28:59 PM] .: miss bell: ranign wor
[02:29:09 PM] bloopszy! * : here no woh..
[02:29:10 PM] bloopszy! * : hahahha
[02:29:19 PM] .: miss bell: oh okay
[02:29:21 PM] .: miss bell: have fcfun
[02:29:22 PM] .: miss bell: taz
[02:29:37 PM] bloopszy! * : buaiz!
[02:29:46 PM] bloopszy! * : help me find my lie peh2 is you can laha..
[02:29:47 PM] bloopszy! * : hahahah
[02:30:33 PM] .: miss bell: haha kkk ( he wants her so badly..?? n she agrees to look..even though she said no such person earlier on... i seem confused)
END..HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
crying in china..crying back in malaysia.. LOL... i see my hobby has returned to haunt me.. =) i want to drop dead T_T
Friday, November 04, 2005
...most u may be seriously bored with me already.. cuz i definitely am..all my problems are the same bloody things that just never get resolves...... and no..i dont want to break up with him......because honestly..i do love him......but...i dont know... i dont know anything anymore.. i just want to sleep and never wake up..provided i can even fucking get sleep.......
i may be emotionally weak..i may cry 24/7.. but i am strong willed and i am determined..i love him..and thats the end of it....... suffering........ but whats that........if that is what he wants from me.......what can i say.............nothing......................... because im such a dumbass and i believe in love so much.......... hahahahahahhahahaa........
(edit : its fucking 3 am....im starving...........on the bright side..after this ordeal..ill have a flat tummy T_T n my figure back...)
Thursday, November 03, 2005
1) is the bitch the one who speaks her mind and tells the truth or the backstabber that talks behind a person's back? i choose to be as honest as i can instead of just keeping it inside and talking behind the back of the person.. and im the bitch.. BUT THATS FINE... honestly thats fine.. ever since kindergarden ive had people hate and critisze me for no apparent reason..and by the time ive reach form 2..those rumours can no longer penetrate into my heart.. but u know what hurts? the fact that my bf thinks im a bitch for telling his GOOD FEMALE FRIEND that i have a problem with him and her constantly touching each other.. and she im quite sure hates me as well cuz her reaction was quite.. o_O...unexpected i should say..and thats not the thing that makes it most painful..what hurts it.. my bf wants me too keep it inside..cry inside.. and talk bad about her... SO SHE DOESNT KNOW AND HER FEELINGS WONT GET HURT...he rather have mine hurt than hers... (btw...ure a backstabber as well...so how come im the bitch and the troublemaker and ure perfectly innocent with the perfectly fake yet genuine friendship? LOL...i honestly wonder about that)
some of u my dear readers have known me for quite a while now and know about my head strong determination and straight forward attitude....thats like a huge part of me... and that is something that cannot be change *related to lower post..this IS ATTITUDE...* so who's really changing who? or trying to change who?
2) how do u know its love? how do u know its real love and how do u tell its genuine? what makes it love and not just a crush and what makes a crush just a crush and not love? can one really tell..? isnt love something special and different for different people...so how would u know if its love or not?
3) whats the fastest easiet way to die T_T.....besides dying in a car..... T_T....... yes..my mood has deteorated to that low.. i hope i get into a freak accident in shanghai T_T...
i watched all about of love earlier and i cried like heck throughout the whole movie..not becasue it was touching..but.. it was so much like my relationship with him..those empty promises..those lies of later.. those hide things to apparently SO CALLED not hurt my feelings... hahaha.. i really which i could be like Ah SA...who died in the crash after his 108th tomorrow... him always making her wait... i wish i could as well... i wonder why i never bothered keeping count of all the promises and the broken promises..lol... if this relationship continues..i think i'll do what she did.. makes notes of everything and count it....ive been crying the whole day..might as well continue =')....
edit : btw can someone tell me the ending..i didnt get to watch the whole show due to some circumstances...
u my dear reader tells me about a... i tell ian about a TRUSTING HIM and thiking he would CARE ENOUGH abt my welfare and other ppl's welfare but noooo..he goes back to a..and tells a then u told me and i told him yahde yahde yahde.. and whats funnier is..he told things that were false and then blamed others when he didnt bother checking it himself
and dun talk to me about confronting ppl who believe in platonic relationships..i touched on the issue of TOUCHING..at least i tell the truth abt my feelings..U KNOW WHAT MY BF DOES?? HE GOES UP 2 MY GUYS FRIENDS.. on msn especially..pretends to be me..and then goes about fucking them and insulting them =) SWEET..so im wrong for nicely confronting his dear friend about the touching issue and he's absolutely right for being an ass to my friends? this especially happens when we've already broken up...
and dont talk about the point of controlling either.. HAHAHA... cuz u have no idea.. u guys think i change him from the words of others.. but yeah i am trying to change him..his habits NOT HIS PERSONALITY.. habits and personalities are 2 totally different things yet ppl say things and change its meaning and all of a sudden.. IM CHANGING IAN into my perfect guy? PERSONALITY WISE? because i dont love him for him?? UH.. reality check .. look the dictionary up.. personality.. habits =) i wasnt aware that they meant the same things
i still can't seem to grasp the situation properly...... =) enlighten me furthur please
(edit: on the terms of the current situation..ive come to conclude.. ITS PERFECTLY okay for me to have a close friend TOUCHING relationship with my ex right? cuz ive been with him 4 quite a while and u can technically say we're closer than any of my friends..so its not wrong right?? its just close friends and its just touching and hugging RIGHT? no wrong in that right?? cuz i chose not to try to repair it and be friends again to respect my bf cuz i knew he wouln't like it.. but it seems HE WOULD ADORE IT? cuz then i would understand his situation?? but strangely enough... he flinches at the very words of my ex bf's name =) ... how quaint.and also.. if his friends tell me about my ex..me being my ex good fren n all and not believing those rumours..i cna go to my ex and say.. ei u noe ian told me that this told him blah blah blah..... WOW! i discovered something new.. hahaaha)
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
its so ironnniic really..my bf hates ppl spreading false rumours abt things..but yet he seems to enjoy doing it..whats funnier is.. he blames it on others because apparently HE DIDNT BOTHER TO CHECK 1sT but its not his fault BECAUSE it just isnt?? because HE WONT DO SUCH THINGS??
and then he claims.. why should ppl keep secret from other ppl..especially if said abt other ppl.. izzit bcuz scared..bcuz its not true.... MY OH MY...so actualy secrets..arent told to others.. because they r made up as well @_@ ....... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS CONCEPT TO ME?
and he also made the most interesting statement.. i love you..thats why i want to cheat on u.... its bcuz i love u..i lie to u..... OH? dear god... i seem to have mistaken the meaning of love needing honesty and trust .... can someone please explain this to me
he also kindly blames me...saying that i cause a lot of problems in our relationship.. WHEN IT IS HIM WHO MAKES THIS PROMISES THAT HE KEEPS MAYBE 10% of the time??? AND THEN PROCEEDING to LIE ABOUT IT.... and when found out deny all proof of it UNTIL THERE IS TOTALLY NO CHANGE FOR HIM TO DENY IT because the guilt is too over whelming.. SO I AM THE ONE CAUSING THE PROBLEMS?
I AM THE ONE SPREADING FALSE RUMOURS? I AM THE ONE WHO MAKES EMPTY PROMISES AND PRETENDS THAT I NEVER MADE ANY? OHHHHHHHH.. even if there is written proof with SIGNATURES INVOLVED? DEAR GOD....... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP?
SO AND THEN
another thing is.. its okay if he destroyes other peoples relationship with false rumours.. but its wrong to destroy other peoples relationship when it isnt a rumour but it is fact.. and funny enough... its something VERY BIG..a VERY BIG SECRET... like having an affair or the person isnt really in love with the other person and is just being forced to be in the relationship because its been so long FOR EXAMPLE.. and he knows about it..but is choosing to keep quiet about it =) because... WHY? aihya..because he scared he get in trouble lar WHAT ELSE..even though the poor sod at the other end who is unknowing and trusting.. IS SO DAMN CLOSE TO HIM...
so i seem to be very clueless about whats right and whats wrong lately... AM I THAT MUCH OF A BIMBO? well i know im a bimbo.. but.. TO SUCH AN EXTENT that i do all the wrong things and think all the right things are wrong?? for example.. stealing is good.. its not wrong... OH?? enlighten me =)
edit : i 4got to add... that darling bf of mine also finds that the word private blog means nothing and when ppl ask him for it he's expected to give it because OMG... they ask me.. what am i suppose to say? i dunno meh? ........SO DEAR DEAR PPL... how more may i prove the point ...... cant keep ppl's secrets.. LOL..and blame others that u cant keep it... because U R SO CALLED DOING THE RIGHT THING i see........ WOW............ i didnt know spreading false rumours was right.. giving out private blog adds was right.. and keeping HUGE SECRETS INVOLVING THEIR CLOSEST PPL is RIGHT as WELL..... MY OH MY........ i really must retake my moral studies =)
Tuesday, November 01, 2005